Can you weigh the feelings?

When you feel happy you tend to feel very happy and that everything is right but on the other hand when things are going haywire, you tend to feel really sad. Can you weigh these feelings of happiness or sadness and cancel them out and say your life is at neutral position? At least in the Harry Potter series, they could take out their memories and put them into a bowl. Is it possible to drag out our feelings and place them in a bowl too, to measure their metrics? Well! I am not sure. But we still use phrases like, 'my heart is heavy with feelings'.

 

To just dig into the background processing of how these feelings are created, we find that feelings are internally generated but externally triggered. People and situations around us give rise to different sorts of feelings. Though it's not exactly possible to weigh the amount of these feelings directly, we can try an alternative route to do the same by measuring the quantity that gets replaced by such feelings. Whenever we are down and feeling bad the negative thoughts revolve in our minds which replace the thoughts of any kind of work. As a result, majority of the work gets stalled. The amount of work can easily be measured in terms of the growth it would have brought to us either in monetary terms or kind-wise. The amount of time our brain is devoid of work thoughts and filled with feelings that obstruct the working thought-process, is the exact amount of time lost which can be exactly measured and if you can charge yourself on an hourly basis, you can calculate the loss in terms of finances as well.

 

After a series of disturbing experiences all that I realized was that if there are CEOs who are unhappy with what's going on in their lives, even I can reach some good position like them even if I'm hurt and feeling bad or sad or unhappy at certain points of time. It's difficult to fight against the feelings and work, I agree, but there is no way out. Work has to happen and life has to move on. There is no point worrying and sitting down with hands tied. Allow the heart to be under turmoil while you're exercising your brain to carry forward the work because more the lack and loss of work, more the sadness.

Poor jokes? or Poor people?

Just few days ago, I was in a school to take up a session on leadership for the students. I had reached almost 45 minutes earlier and had had a heavy lunch just two hours ago. Naturally, sleep was catching up on me. I was in no state of taking up an energetic session but it was inevitable. I tried to take a brisk walk to awake myself from the day-sleep. It worked to an extent. I wasn't completely up and going. Then I entered the school and took a seat on a nearby bench. Just twenty minutes before my session was about to begin, the first grade students ran out of their classes to the quadrangle. Here comes the twist in the story.

 

I have a bad habit of cracking jokes and making people around me laugh. I started it with these young angels. I asked them, "A for ..." They replied, "Apple!" and I reverted, "A for Anna Sambar (food item in Kannada language). All of them chuckled. I asked once again, "C for ..." They replied, "Cat!" but I retorted, "C for Chitranna (yet another food item in Kannada language). Once again these first grade students laughed their heart out. This continued for few more alphabets where I was replacing their answers with food items and that too in a regional language. With each answer their laughter raised in decibel level and my energy state raised in quantum levels. Hats off to these kids who have the charm of enjoying every little happiness that's hidden around them, and who, in return, charged me up for my session.

 

If I had done the same exercise with other people around me apart from these kids, they would have neglected the humour in it and categorized it as PJ - poor jokes and not even energized me. It would have happened with you too many times when you tried to bring out humour and your friends made fun of you by calling your joke as a PJ- poor joke. As people grow, they tend to lose the fun-loving-kid inside them who can trigger happiness and bliss at every joke possible. It doesn't even matter if people aren't ready to enjoy, unfortunately they break the source person's enthusiasm also while sharing the joke and turn off his/her mood. I feel more than the poorness or richness of the joke, it depends on the poorness or richness of the ability in people to enjoy life. People have gone poor on the scale of enjoying humour. So, don't worry next time when someone condemns your thought as a poor joke. That someone might just be a poor soul on the planet. Go ahead and enjoy the nectar of life called laughter. So what say? Do poor people exist or poor jokes?

Furor of frustration

Happiness is the main goal of life for everyone be it rich or poor. People have difficulties of their own at their own levels. Sometimes there is so much of confusion amidst the well defined clarity. People closest to you fail to understand your feelings sometimes. Other times you yourself are tied up by the principles you start following and cannot come out of them nor express your discomfort. At such times occurs furor of frustration.

 

The worst part about frustration is that one tries to first come out of it before doing anything else. The only way to come out of frustration is by throwing it out of you. Until then there is sadness that cannot be soothed very easily. The zeal just gets sucked out and it's a strange confusion between boring work or demotivated feelings. One more dangerous part with frustration is that the more it is compressed within without being vent out, the more it keeps compounding. At the end of the day time passes away and even the individual is helpless to do anything about it than controlling his frustration from harming anyone else or hurting anyone else's feelings and just talk to oneself continuously until the mind is calmed down and ready to think about further work. Work takes a beating for sure at such times. At such times I just suggest you not to punish yourself for anything. We set certain principles against which we cannot go due to certain influences and at times we aren't able to live up to the same. It doesn't indicate one's own failure or question the integrity of the principle. It just requires some time for you to get accustomed to those hard principles which you might not believe but are enforced upon you which can bring about a good impact in your growth.

 

It's true that we must avoid negative feelings but alas! we are humans, just normal humans who are not sages who have sacrificed everything in this world and just meditating and performing penances for salvation. There are certain commitments upon our shoulders to be fulfilled that may not be our passions. At times negative feelings are bound to occur. Just make sure that they don't have negative impact on anyone else and give sufficient amount of time to oneself to heal from them and once again breathe a fresh life. Really looking forward to your thoughts on this blog on

is.mohanbn@gmail.com

www.facebook.com/ismohanbn

www.twitter.com/ismohanbn

Free lifestyle: Free of make-ups and get-ups

The only two points in life when we least care about what others think about us are; one, when we are in our birthbed and the second when we are in our deathbed. In fact there is a famous proverb is kannada which translates into english like this- "When we came to this world we were naked and when we go back from this world we shall be naked. What you find in between these two is just darkness". This proverb is more rhyming in kannada. In spite of this clear understanding we put up a lot of get-ups and make-ups to show our untrueselves to the world outside. Reasons are many for doing so while we are losing out on the real happiness of a free lifestyle: free of get-ups and make-ups.

Someone said "eating is our choice but dressing is others' choice". This statement is so true that if you observe the people around you, you shall find that people can't wear dresses which they like or are comfortable in. They have to wear dresses that suit the customs, business etiquette, pride or to just impress someone else. Most of the times we don't throw out our opinions either because of elders' fear, embarrasment to people in higher positions, fear of law, fear of losing the liking/respect from people. We put on an artificial smile just to hide our emotions and move on with such situations. Man has completely lost the ability to sustain on one's own emotions except a few highly matured yogis or wise men(similar women included). In today's modern generation suffering from emotional turmoil, each one needs someone else to rely upon, to share the owes of life and someone to empathize and sympathize. At the end of the day life just seems to be a drama where in we just play the roles assigned by the world than being ourselves.

The reason for all these get-ups and make-ups are our desires. We would want to seep in through every possible situation only to enjoy all that we desire. Hence you will find those people who have either lived all the desires of the world or who have renounced all desires in their purest form who don't fear saying their true inert feelings and dress in a simple style called the free lifestyle: free of make-ups and get-ups which not many would like do compromise for in this modern sophisticated fashionable world. You can really feel free to feed your feedback on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

www.facebook.com/ismohanbn
www.twitter.com/ismohanbn

In the lap of nature

Few days back when I was chatting with my cousin, he started sharing a lot of information and his personal experience on trekking. Probably one of the off times when I kept listening than talking! He went on to share the difficulties that one might face during trekking, the water scarcity, the heights and lot of other things. I was almost scared to go for one such adventure. At the end he just mentioned that all the struggle is worth whilst surviving through the top of the hill when you are just in the lap of nature.

I have just got the excerpts from the experience of the person who has been there thousands of feet above the sea level and who has enjoyed the real bliss of nature devoid of traffic jams, horns, barking people noises. All that you hear at that altitude is just the sound breeze of the cool air across your face, the jazzy ruffling of leaves and the birds singing and dancing to their own tunes. It is as if one has left all his problems and tensions in the below earth and has now completely moved into a different world surrendering oneself in the arms of nature to take him forward in life. In spite of 50 other people who have also climbed the same hill top being around not even a single person is either wanting or willing to talk to another human being. Each one wants to just talk to the nature which seems like God right in front of them. Each one wants to introspect and analyse all their past and discuss it with the nature to make better postulates for life thenceforth.

The final experience of hill-top introspection is what that attracted most of my interest despite all the hurdles while climbing to the top. But I could understand one thing and that was everyone wants to reach the top despite the hurdles on the way only to rise above all human misconceptions and offer oneself in the lap of God to evaluate all their past actions and surrender to ever-lasting happiness. Your feedback is welcome on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

www.facebook.com/ismohanbn
www.twitter.com/ismohanbn

What? Why? How?

The three simple question words that rule our life every moment are 'What', 'Why' and 'How'. Everyone who is born on this earth has to die one or the other day. There is this small span of time that we live on this earth between our birth and death which we call as life. One of the famous statements running around all social networking sites today is 'stop existing, start living because life is once'. What is the difference between living and existing in a life? Probably when you take control of what's happening in your life it's called living and when your surroundings direct the path of your living it's called existing is what I interpret the earlier statement as.

 

What?
What are the dreams that you have dreamt so far? What is that you want out of life? If you can answer these two simple questions 33.33% of your life is solved. Unfortunately in today's world people are not even clear as to what they want. Without knowing what they want, they are sad that they are not getting what they want. Clarity of definition of goals, dreams, desires and visions is the first step of life. Many try to skip this step and hence end up failing and falling because the steps of life are not simple steps of concrete that you can jump over. Each and every step of life is there for a reason which cannot be skipped or jumped over. If you can clearly ask and answer yourself as to all that that you want and write them down, it will be the best help that you can serve yourself.

Why?The degree of motivation behind any work depends on the degree of happiness and satisfaction that the result of the work can bring you. Only when you are clear with what you will be getting out of working for something will you work towards it strongly. So the second very important question is 'Why you want what you want?' If you can chart out all the real reasons behind your necessity or desire and draft them against every item on your 'what-I-want-list', then this will perfectly answer the strength of WHY behind every WANT of yours which will solve next 33.33% of your life. Stronger the Why, better are the chances of accomplishing because better will be the prospects of one working towards achieving.

How?
This is the only question that no one needs to answer to other or to the self. Probably this is the only question that gets answered automatically in the process of answering the first two questions What and Why. For everything in this world there is a particular set of algorithmic steps that take us towards completing the task to get the reward. This process gets known in the process of research and search for answers to the first two questions. Also the answer to How is always specific and never generic which will complete hundred percent of your life.

 

I hope that I have answered few questions of yours, hence I ask you to answer your feedback on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

www.facebook.com/ismohanbn

www.twitter.com/ismohanbn

Common with the Lords

I was born on 14th of March,1987. 14th march is also the brithday of Albert Einstein and Aamir Khan. Whenever I think of this topic I feel really happy and there is a strange sense of greatness that I was born on the same day as these great men. Albert Einstein was a lord himself in the field of physics so is Aamir Khan in the field of cinema. I don't refer to anyone as lord comparing one to God. Lord is a symbolic word of having achieved something great in a field and to stand as an example to follow for others. This common ground of being born on the same day with these fantastic people itself motivates me to work more.

I have given an example of my own and how I feel about it here. Sometimes even you would have faced situations wherein you found certain common things between you and some great human beings. Probably one would have been a college dropout and might have just started a company. This might remind him/her about Steve Jobs or Bill Gates or Larry Ellison. Someone might have been deprived of basic education during the childhood and might come to hear of a story of another person who had undergone the same situation but still made it big in life. This might trigger an inspiration inside that person to work in the similar fashion to achieve something big in his/her own life. Just these common points between a normal individual and a big achiever can be the bridges for tranfer of inspiration. Its great to discover such common grounds and derive inspiration from them.

Each one of our lives are completely unique. No two individuals can have the same line of life lived but still there can exist few matching points between few people. This world provides the same set of challenges and difficulties to same set of people who travel towards the same destination either knowingly or unknowingly. Hence its always beneficial to find the commonness between one and another great achiever so that it can inflict a feeling of pride as well as a sense of matching upto the same achievement. Really eagerly waiting to read your comments on is.mohanbn@gmail.com
www.facebook.com/Mohan.B.Nagesh
www.twitter.com/ISmohanbn

A day to start with

As I start off my blogging in the morning itself today I feel that today is a bit different than other days. I am feeling sad on one side that I missed my gym today but on the other side I am atleast content that I have used the same time to write my blog. Seeing the positive side of anything is very important else you might just end up in the pit of guilt from which it is hard to come out. But as I just glance through the imagination as to what all I would be doing today it all seems covered up with lot of stuff. Very important for me would be to make sure that my priorities are addressed in the right order throughout the next sixteen hours. That's why I named this blog as 'a day to start with'.

Amidst so many work that is clogging our mind, we seldom get time to visualise something that will happen in future. Most of the times either we are busy contemplating what happened in the past and why it happened or our brain is completely busy in completing the present task at hand. Friends! just give ten minutes early morning even before you think that your day has started to just visualise as to how you want this day of yours to be. Just try to imagine yourself smiling all the day, making people feel good, completing lot of tasks without any tension and be lively and energetic all through the day. You can set the set of values that you will be following today no matter what happens. You might just decide to be helpful to anyone you find who is in need of help. You can easily plan the duration of time that will be required to complete any major work. More than that when the mind is free in the early morning and trying to search for a clear plan, all those tasks that seek your highest attention come on your mind immediately. Make sure that you're just putting all those thoughts into a neat To-Do list so that your mind doesn't have to worry as to what to do next when it is engulped in confusion. You can even list out the people with whom you would want to connect either through internet or phone or a personal meeting. Even that person will feel happy that you planned to sync up with him/her. Let's spread happiness folks!!!!!

The biggest advantage of this ten minutes of thought-process early morning before you start your day is that your day will get organised to the best perfection level. I can challenge you that most of the times we can't remember what have we done on most of the days. All of them seem similar rather same and there would be no special moments to remember a day barring a very few exceptions of occasions of celebrations. Why not strive to make everyday a memorable one only if you can plan in those early ten minutes of the day as to what you
would be doing today to make sure that this day remains in your memories forever!
Looking forward for your feedback on is.mohanbn@gmail.com
www.facebook.com/Mohan.B.Nagesh
www.twitter.com/ISmohanbn

Surprise the saboteur

It was a long tiring day continued to night but I just don't feel that tiredness when I come online for blogging to share the lesson of the day with my dear pals. We humans have a tuned mindset in many regards. Few of them are like we follow certain things only if they are interesting enough else however valuable they are we neglect them, we celebrate success and victories and enjoy every bit of it but we are totally sad and depressed whenever we face a defeat. We are happy when we are praised and angry when fought with. This world is not pure enough to leave you to play as per your wishes. There are checkpoints everywhere where people want to just take the advantage of you, cheat you, deceive you or do any kind of wrong thing against you. Such people are called as saboteurs, people who ruin stuff. Generally our reaction towards such people is that of hatred, anger, silence, disrespect and other hard feelings. How would it be if we surprise these saboteurs!!!!!!!!

You might be just wondering that this idea is strangely against the norms of normal human behaviour. Infact the title itself is in contrast trying to connect two solstitial ends. On one hand there is surprise which depicts a positive feeling while on the other is the saboteur which indicates the negative impression. When 98% of them follow the normal ordinary customs, 2% out of the crowd change the direction to create a new result and that's what this title is all about. I am damn sure that you would have heard that whenever there is any tough situation- "respond but don't react". Reaction is something that is spontaneous but response is something that you choose. Whenever there is any argument or any fight, bad feelings immediately follow the situation between the two parties. If you're one of these parties then take the way that 2% of the population will take. If you're sure that you were very clean with your intentions and actions then surprise back the opposite party which was a saboteur putting you into disgrace. Show no sign of disrespect or any hard feeling with respect to the person who actually made the mistake of putting you into trouble. Instead show a wide smiling face filled with energy. Accept the wrong done to you and work to better the situation. If possible even help the opposite saboteur to benefit from your actions. Just forget the harm done and behave as if you really never spotted the negative done to you by the saboteur. Get along with him/her as if everything is just normal and all was normal before as well. Concentrate on driving a far more better friendlier relation with the same person.

Probably the last few sentences of the previous paragraph might have confused you a little. Let me explain friends that we live in a very small world. Though the earth bears a 700 crore plus population our world is comprised of those few hundreds whom we know and interact with only. What is the point in carrying negative feelings and emotions against this small subset of the world. More than harming anyone else we are just harming ourselves. Forgive and forget and move on to make things better. The place you give for one negative emotion in your heart means the same denied for one positive emotion. Lets avoid this. The moment you surprise your saboteur with the good feelings, you also give a chance to him/her to learn a lesson. His anger can only fight with your anger but not with your sweet smile. Even that person has to lose the battle of ego clash infront of the love that you shower because his guilt of betraying you will be clearly visible in the mirror of your genuinity. All of us together contribute to the happiness quotient of this earth. Let's make our best efforts to increase it to cross the limits.

If you are happy, my intentions of writing this blog have yielded fruits. I would love to read your feedback on is.mohanbn@gmail.com
www.facebook.com/Mohan.B.Nagesh
www.twitter.com/ISmohanbn

Sharing is caring

Hi friends! Probably this will be one of my short blogs but its very important to share because I care to share with my lovely readers. You share with those whom you care for. Be it sharing of knowledge or inspiration or emotions, sharing always strengthens the relationship. In sharing we learn more by understanding others' viewpoints. This also helps us grow in life. Sharing food or clothing or shelter will akways help the needy. Lets share with care to develop our family on this planet called earth.

Small dreams are the catalyst for bigger ones

Even before starting off with the blog I have posted the conclusion as the title of the blog and I am also very sure that many of you will agree with me. Dreams have been the driving force of life. Some dreams are assumed to be the basic necessities of life and everyone has to work to accomplish them. Infact the best definition that I had heard about the dream was "Any positive thought that enters the mind" from Sri. Sumit Lalwani. If you can think deep about this statement you can realise that you can live your dreams not just everyday but every moment. Different people attribute different sizes for their dreams. I just feel more than the size of the dream the satisfaction and happiness of accomplishing it is more important. No doubt that bigger dreams when accomplished give more happiness but in this journey let's not forget that every small dream is also every important.

Today was the first time that I took my younger brother and mother to Cafe Coffee Day. I had treated so many of my friends and colleagues in CCD but not my family. So this was one small dream that was inside which materialised today. Might be my mom din't like the Cappuchino of CCD that much but I could see the excitement of coming to the CCD the first time in my her and my bro. They were really amazed to see the arrangement of chairs designed for sitting so comfortably just for a sip of coffee. The music that was running around amused them. Also the new fun filler combo contained a Belgium chocolate shot which tasted the best today because it was the first time. Remember 'First impression is the best impression'. The most happier part was that they could just sit over there and have coffee and the shot without any urgency to leave or the server disturbing them to order the next item which is the normal case when you enter the old-fashioned hotels. This was indeed a dream accomplished for me after a long time. May be I never observed so much about what happened in a CCD in my previous encounters. I had attended so many meetings and celebrations in CCDs but this was something special. May be that's the reason I say 'I was living my dream today'.

This was a very small dream but the accomplishment of it motivates me to take upon bigger ones. Most of us in our chase for achieving big dreams forget to live so many of the small dreams which would have added more enthusiasm into us. After all life is a string of beads of small moments. You never live life at one stretch for a year or even a day. You live it moment by moment. Make every moment special by having dreams which can be lived for a moment. As I said previously dreams' sizes differ from person to person. Might be some of your small dreams can be the big dreams of others. In the process of enjoying your small dream you might have helped the other person live the dream of his/her life. You are the designer of your life and its components called dreams. Dream of every smallest thing possible because life becomes more enjoyable not by just living it but by living its dreams. While we connect the dots of life lets also connect the dreams of life as closer as possible.

Please share your small dreams which have had the mega impact in your lives on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

www.facebook.com/ismohanbn

www.twitter.com/ismohanbn

I would love to read them too...............

I might never succeed

"What a pessimistic attitude to begin with!" Might be you are thinking this after just reading the title of the blog. There is a big boulder of optimism behind this which I am going to reveal in a couple of time units. Today everyone of us are living in a competitive fast moving world where you take a nap for a minute and the world would have progressed ten steps far. More than living a life we are busy completing the syllabus of life as we do for exams. There are certain goals which we need to accomplish and unless that's done there is no peace on the mind or happiness in the heart. We are so busy seeing the mountain top that we can't even smell the mesmerizing fragrance of the roses along the path that we are treading.

You might have got a hint by now I hope. I am talking about this moment, the present. Are you reading this blog just to make sure you complete it within couple of time units because you have your next meeting lined up or are you actually reading this sentence? Frankly speaking I don't know. Sometimes the case is that not even you know what you're actually doing because the eye is fixed upon the small goal post forgetting the large grass field where you are actually playing. Well! I am not against any principle of goal setting. Its very important the we need to have goals in life. Its very important that we need to be focused on our goals every moment. Its very important that we shouldn't get distracted while pursuing our goals. But its also important to enjoy the ride until you reach the still-waters. You reach your goal for a moment but you would have travelled to reach your goal for a lifetime sometimes. What is the point in struggling through a decade just to be happy for a second!

God never gave us goals, we created them for ourselves for our own reasons. God always bestowed an entire life upon us to live through it. Sometimes we are not even sure if all the struggle will be worth it because life doesn't come with a fixed expiry date, The Law of Uncertainty, you see. I am not even sure if anyone will read my blogs but I enjoy writing them one after the other, line after the other, word after the other because I ENJOY writing them. I consider myself lucky if you are reading this blog. Lets savour the beauty of the valleys while trekking up the mountain to reach the top. Lets enjoy the warmth of the waters while swimming to reach the shore. Lets relish the taste of the food before gulping it down the throat. Lets enjoy the present moment which we are living and learning from it.

I might never succeed in conquering all my goals but I will surely extract every juice of happiness that the path to success can offer me. Kya patha Kal Ho Na Ho! If you also feel the same feel free to post on

is.mohanbn@gmail.com

www.facebook.com/ismohanbn

www.twitter.com/ismohanbn

Rules in Life aren't Laws of Life

Every now and then in our day to day activities we see rules before proceeding. We follow certain rules and we break some. Knowingly or unknowingly some rules are designed to cause more trouble than to provide any good. Some of us formulate our entire life around these rules but get entagled in the spider web whereas some break the rules, go beyond them and either get penalised or successful. Its quite a contradiction that sometimes you win only by breaking the rules.

Having a one-way is the rule of traffic, but when an ambulance is having a patient this rule can be broken because the Law of life is to live, not to die because of the rule. While signing a contract a person can dedicate his time and efforts for the work as mentioned in the rules of the agreement but he need not dedicate his life for money as it is against the Law of life itself. Life is much bigger than money. Strictest of the rules are broken during the 2 most important phases of life as engraved in the writing "Everything is fair in LOVE and WAR"  because rules were meant to be broken infront of the Laws of life.

There is a big challenge to the framers and followers of rules because rules have their own dimensions to operate within. Once the boundaries of caste, religion, state and colour are crossed even the most followed rules become completely invalid when they are found to intimidate the Laws of life which are happiness, love and satisfaction. I would definitely recommend you to follow the rules but be cautious of not ignoring the laws of humanity in the process. Depending on the situation, certain rules can be ammended in order to safeguard the laws of mankind.

Please share your valuable feedback on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

www.facebook.com/ismohanbn

www.twitter.com/ismohanbn