Can you weigh the feelings?

When you feel happy you tend to feel very happy and that everything is right but on the other hand when things are going haywire, you tend to feel really sad. Can you weigh these feelings of happiness or sadness and cancel them out and say your life is at neutral position? At least in the Harry Potter series, they could take out their memories and put them into a bowl. Is it possible to drag out our feelings and place them in a bowl too, to measure their metrics? Well! I am not sure. But we still use phrases like, 'my heart is heavy with feelings'.

 

To just dig into the background processing of how these feelings are created, we find that feelings are internally generated but externally triggered. People and situations around us give rise to different sorts of feelings. Though it's not exactly possible to weigh the amount of these feelings directly, we can try an alternative route to do the same by measuring the quantity that gets replaced by such feelings. Whenever we are down and feeling bad the negative thoughts revolve in our minds which replace the thoughts of any kind of work. As a result, majority of the work gets stalled. The amount of work can easily be measured in terms of the growth it would have brought to us either in monetary terms or kind-wise. The amount of time our brain is devoid of work thoughts and filled with feelings that obstruct the working thought-process, is the exact amount of time lost which can be exactly measured and if you can charge yourself on an hourly basis, you can calculate the loss in terms of finances as well.

 

After a series of disturbing experiences all that I realized was that if there are CEOs who are unhappy with what's going on in their lives, even I can reach some good position like them even if I'm hurt and feeling bad or sad or unhappy at certain points of time. It's difficult to fight against the feelings and work, I agree, but there is no way out. Work has to happen and life has to move on. There is no point worrying and sitting down with hands tied. Allow the heart to be under turmoil while you're exercising your brain to carry forward the work because more the lack and loss of work, more the sadness.

The state of mind attracts the past of kind

In one of my recent reading through an amazingly exquisite book, I was learning about how the human brain is trained not to learn from history. Though we repeat huge number of times that we learn from our past mistakes, we seldom implement what we have learnt form our past in our present to make the future more pleasant. A very simple example to prove this epiphenomenon is, though we are aware that good and bad times keep coming and going in our life, we are fooled by such repeated occasions and we assume them to be long-lasting as long as they last.

Try to evaluate your state of mind right now. Whatever it may be as of now; it can be happy or sad. If you actually scan through the scenes running on your mind right now, they will be similar to your current state of mind. If you're very happy, all those memorable unforgettable moments of life when you won and people appreciated, the good times that you had with the closest people in your life shall be ruling your mind. If you're sad and down on energy, all those bad times of bad health, bad incidents, others mistakes causing your misery shall be ruining your mind. Our state of mind persists as long as we allow it to persist. If we feed it sufficiently and succinctly with the kind of fodder of the like, then it keeps building on it. It's up to us to choose what we want our brain to harvest on. The kind of input given will result in the same kind of thoughts, emotions and feelings.

Everyone has had his/her share of good and bad times. Life hasn't been cozy for anyone all along. It has offered its own share of rough times for man to become stronger to face such recurrences. If we don't hold on to the reigns of the horse, the horse shall take the path of its own choice. Same is the character of our mind. If we don't control what it thinks upon, it shall think about all the garbage available in the memory world. Hence, we need to take the extra step to raise our states of mind to be every happy and exhilarating with bubbling energy all the time. To make it happen we must go back to those past instances when we were in such states of mind and bring them back to rejuvenate the present state.

What is your insight?

All of us live through several moments of our lives. How many of us learn from every moment of our life? A poet views the grandeur of a waterfall and exclaims, "What a beauty!” An engineer witnesses the same and cries out, "What a waste!" What we take out of every instance of our life and things and situations around us is completely left to us. This is what I call as insight.

 

 

If a person is willing to learn even an empty road can teach him the best lessons of life. It is completely up to our discretion as to what we decide to take out of any situation of our life. Most of the times we neglect so many occurrences in our life that we end up being completely clueless as to where we spent all our time and energy. The reason is because we wouldn't have taken out anything constructively out of them but when we decide to focus on triggering our insight towards every small thing that happens around us, we get a deeper understanding of stuff around us. A thought that dives into the depth of something that is very ordinary shall reveal the extraordinary lesson beneath the ordinary. No big things can be understood unless we have understood small things. To understand the tiny truths of life, we need to develop an insight that studies more about everything which seems to be normal for others. Only then will we be capable to opine on any particular topic aptly.

 

What we think about others is what we are. The more we exercise this talent of ours to understand things, people, experiences and situations around us, the more we start understanding ourselves. We become more capable to judge our anticipations and feelings. We start discovering ourselves afresh anew. Life is all about discovering the highest true form of oneself which unfortunately gets muddled in the noises of the world around as we grow up. Having an insight into everything helps us to get back our true-selves. Your insight on this post is more than welcome and more than valuable.

Expressionless expression - A silent smile

So coming back to the same old topic of expressions. Every emotion
or a feeling has an expression associated with it. Some are good at expressing while some are still learning the art of expressing. The world has become so blind that it can see only what seems to be the outer cover. It has lost the capacity of looking deep in the eyes. You smile and laugh and the world thinks you are happy. You have a sulky face and a sigh on your face, world seems to think that you are sad while the situations can be completely opposite of what that is perceived.

Many might even fight back at me saying that it's the mistake of the person who is expressing. S/he is conveying the wrong expressions and is not only deceiving the world but her/himself also. So what pleasure did Charlie Chaplin have in making others laugh while he burnt in misery from inside? Unfortunately today true emotions are condemned if they don't sync with the situation. People are expected to behave and emote as the surroundings are else it's considered to be abnormal. A man lives in an entirely different world inside than outside. I clearly don't understand as to how can one compare the emotions of one person with that of the other. Everyone has a different emotional quotient and reasons for being emotional. No two people can be expected to express and emote the same way for a similar kind of a situation just because one expects them to. If a person is emotional it doesn't mean that s/he has lost the logical understanding. No one needs to justify the emotions logically.

When the outer world which is not the 700crore plus population but just the seven of those close people fail to understand your trust or emotions or feelings or honesty, all the expressions of true emotion get curbed and all that remains is nothing but an expressionless expression - a silent smile which is better than a straight face to avoid further conflicts and conversations. If you haven't been through such situations please do let me know on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

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Respect commitments to the self

Commitments are the most important promises that we make to ourselves and to others. Commitments are also used in certain other different scenarios such as personal commitments or family commitments or business commitments where in sometimes they are not just promises but are contracts or dire necessities without fulfilling which the life cannot proceed in a sound manner. If we expect someone else to believe in our commitments, we must first believe in us that we will live upto the commitments that we make to ourselves.

New year resolutions are some of the common commitments that people make to themselves and hardly few percentage of them are ever fulfilled throughout entire lifetime. It all depends upon how much of respect that we give to our own words. I still remember an example wherein Mahatma Gandhiji had stopped eating jaggery for some days just to advise a son of His disciple not to eat jaggery, because Bapu felt that if he couldn't stop eating jaggery, he couldn't advise someone else on the same lines. So he took a commitment to Himself that he wouldn't eat jaggery. The prime motive of His was to lead by example and hence he respected even this small commitment to himself though the situation would have got resolved by He just adivsing the little boy. Just because of his commitment to lead by example he could forfeit his desire for jaggery. Such should be the respect that we give to our commitments. Sometimes we make commitments out of motivation during a small period of time and after that motivation subsides we start disregarding our own commitments and break them. The reason for this is that we forget the reasons for our motivation that we had sometime back. So how do we make sure that we don't break these commitments?

If you can live upto the commitments that you make to oneself then you can easily fulfil the commitments made to others. Hence I will talk or rather write about just three simple steps to make sure that we respect and fulfil the commitments made to the self. First, write down the reasons for you taking up any commitment and preserve this to read and re-read everytime you are working towards this commitment irrespective of whether you have or have lost the motivation. If you have lost the motivaion, reading will trigger it back, if you still have the motivation it will just multiply by re-reading the reasons for the same. Second, there will be certain instances when you will be dragged away by negative forces such as laziness or ill health or disinterestedness or disturbed feelings due to which even reading doesn't bring back the motivation. At these circumstances, just remember that by breaking the commitment you are going to further worsen the situation and just by doing the small work required will definitely make the situation better. Its a simple human psychology which always becomes happy when you do something that you think you cannot do. Third, the belief inside us in ourselves grows everytime we stand for what we speak. We don't have to make big commitments to change the country or the society or the world. Small simple commitments that we make to change ourselves positively can be more than sufficient to cast an impact towards global betterment because you are bound to definitely influence this character of yours into others around you.

Everyday blogging is one of the small commitments that I make to myself and fulfil but sometimes when I fail to do so, I come back with double the efforts to cover up the past failure. Hope to know your stories on self-commitments on is.mohanbn@gmail.com
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Feel, Felt, Found

'Feel, Felt, Found' is one of the age old philosophies used by wise men to solve problems of others in this world. I am glad enough that I was able to learn this quickly in my life during my experience in sales and marketing. Some call it a technique, some say its lying. Well all that doesn't matter as long as it serves the purpose of improving one's life. Humans are all about feelings, they buy things not out of logic but out of feeling. As a result this is a technique used by many sales professionals to improve their sales conversions. The bigger role played by this method is to solve misconceptions and help build a better harmonious relationship between people.

Whenever a person is in problem, quite often one thinks that it is the problem which he alone is facing in the entire world. Its very normal that we see our problems bigger than that of others. It is the trend of human psychology followed from years together which will continue forever with the majority. When the person is unable to solve the problem, he goes to a wiser man seeking a solution. If the wise person suggests a solution directly and if it involves some correction within the problem holder, then its difficult for him to accept as it will hurt his ego because most think that they have acted exactly right in their situation. At this time the wise man recollects one of his past experiences similar or sometimes the same to the current problem of the person and explains how he had felt at that time. He shows the same emotions and feelings that turmoiled his peace of mind just like they are doing for the problem holder now. As a result of which the wise man actually feels the pain of the problem of the other person right in himself right at the moment of giving the solution. Then the wise man explains how he found a solution for himself to come out of the problem. This step is more than enough for the problem holder to understand how another human being could get out of the problem similar to that of his and hence can apply the same in his life.

On very few exceptions, some are satisfied by the hope of having understood that the problem was not new and it had a solution already applied by someone else but still want a specific solution for their problem. Its easy to sow the seeds once the field is ploughed well. Similarly its easy to sow the solutions once the pessimistic barrier is broken. Then its a cake walk for the wise to suggest the simplest solution that can easily solve the problem. This builds more trust and strengthens the relationship between the wise and the novice.

I have shared my feel here, have you felt and found the same? If yes, please write back to me on is.mohanbn@gmail.com
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Surprise the saboteur

It was a long tiring day continued to night but I just don't feel that tiredness when I come online for blogging to share the lesson of the day with my dear pals. We humans have a tuned mindset in many regards. Few of them are like we follow certain things only if they are interesting enough else however valuable they are we neglect them, we celebrate success and victories and enjoy every bit of it but we are totally sad and depressed whenever we face a defeat. We are happy when we are praised and angry when fought with. This world is not pure enough to leave you to play as per your wishes. There are checkpoints everywhere where people want to just take the advantage of you, cheat you, deceive you or do any kind of wrong thing against you. Such people are called as saboteurs, people who ruin stuff. Generally our reaction towards such people is that of hatred, anger, silence, disrespect and other hard feelings. How would it be if we surprise these saboteurs!!!!!!!!

You might be just wondering that this idea is strangely against the norms of normal human behaviour. Infact the title itself is in contrast trying to connect two solstitial ends. On one hand there is surprise which depicts a positive feeling while on the other is the saboteur which indicates the negative impression. When 98% of them follow the normal ordinary customs, 2% out of the crowd change the direction to create a new result and that's what this title is all about. I am damn sure that you would have heard that whenever there is any tough situation- "respond but don't react". Reaction is something that is spontaneous but response is something that you choose. Whenever there is any argument or any fight, bad feelings immediately follow the situation between the two parties. If you're one of these parties then take the way that 2% of the population will take. If you're sure that you were very clean with your intentions and actions then surprise back the opposite party which was a saboteur putting you into disgrace. Show no sign of disrespect or any hard feeling with respect to the person who actually made the mistake of putting you into trouble. Instead show a wide smiling face filled with energy. Accept the wrong done to you and work to better the situation. If possible even help the opposite saboteur to benefit from your actions. Just forget the harm done and behave as if you really never spotted the negative done to you by the saboteur. Get along with him/her as if everything is just normal and all was normal before as well. Concentrate on driving a far more better friendlier relation with the same person.

Probably the last few sentences of the previous paragraph might have confused you a little. Let me explain friends that we live in a very small world. Though the earth bears a 700 crore plus population our world is comprised of those few hundreds whom we know and interact with only. What is the point in carrying negative feelings and emotions against this small subset of the world. More than harming anyone else we are just harming ourselves. Forgive and forget and move on to make things better. The place you give for one negative emotion in your heart means the same denied for one positive emotion. Lets avoid this. The moment you surprise your saboteur with the good feelings, you also give a chance to him/her to learn a lesson. His anger can only fight with your anger but not with your sweet smile. Even that person has to lose the battle of ego clash infront of the love that you shower because his guilt of betraying you will be clearly visible in the mirror of your genuinity. All of us together contribute to the happiness quotient of this earth. Let's make our best efforts to increase it to cross the limits.

If you are happy, my intentions of writing this blog have yielded fruits. I would love to read your feedback on is.mohanbn@gmail.com
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Expression is a must

In my dream last night, I met Dwayne Rocky Johnson alias The Rock, the superstar of WWE Universe. I was ecstatic to bring him to one of my friends' home. The Rock was 6 foot 4 inches tall, dressed in one of the best stylish suits with a french beard and with his awesome smile. I was filled with joy of having met him face to face and was smiling continuously throughout the episode. Even my friends were wondering as to how I had got the chance to bring the Rock home. Rock was very friendly without an air of being a celebrity and was sharing his experiences of life with us. After sometime the Rock had to leave to the airport and I escorted him back. I could see myself in complete happiness when I met the Rock and in some sort of a sad feeling when he was going back. I could see myself expressing these emotions in my dream.

Friends! not only the emotions or feelings everything that you think or feel about something or someone has to be expressed if your thought or feeling has to have some value. Until now humans haven't been able to develop a techonology that can read the impulses running in your mind and print out exactly what you are thinking about. Might be the blood pressure variation can determine whether you're in an excited state or in depression state. Apart from these no one can get to know what you think about them. You might be having a million thoughts in your mind on how to develop this world but unless they are expressed not even a single one of them will turn into action. Great Thinkers were called as Great Thinkers because they not only did the thinking work but also expressed their thoughts. In today's world of chaos people have lost the hope that there is no one to listen to their thoughts or feelings. This is one of biggest misconceptions that has to be broken right now. You are on this earth for a reason. God has provided you with the ability to think and dream in order to use it to better the place where you were born before you leave it. Make use of it and make sure of it that it serves the purpose. The form of expression need not be only talking. Some people express their thoughts through movies, some through blogs, some through dramas, some through poems, some through talks, some through music, some through journalism, some through actions, some through business, some through paintings, some through architecture and loads of other billion ways. Ultimately if your thoughts have to reach the world you must express.

Those who shy away from expressing their thoughts and feelings not only lose the benefits that would have reaped if they had expressed but also would deprive this universe those advantages of their thoughts. If the scientists hadn't explored and experimented their thoughts not only would they have lost out on so many Nobel prizes but also this world wouldn't have been so advanced as it is today. When you don't express your feelings to the other person, he/she doesn't know how much you feel for them and vice-versa. The other person can feel for you only when you can feel for him/her which you must express. When I couldn't control expressing my emotions in my dream would I stop myself from expressing myself in real life!

I hope you wouldn't curb yourself from expressing your opinions, thoughts or feelings about this blog on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

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Frustration means Fluctuation

Everyone of us are ruled by these non-physical entities called as emotions. Our moods vary from time to time. No doubt that with great efforts and continuous training of the mind we can reach the level of being stable irrespective of the mood variations but this is not at all a simple task. Also not everyone will be able to achieve it. Even the best who were believed to have the highest control over their feelings had to surrender to the same at times. Lot of things result in the emotions that we emote. The surrounding circumstances, our perception towards situations, our very own health conditions etc culminate together to result in the emotions that at times take complete control over us and our decisions and hence actions.

In this particular blog I am taking up the topic of 'Frustration'. Probably everyone on this planet have gone through this state of mind. Might be sometimes even God gets frustrated watching the things that humans are doing. In general, people have an expectation set against the work they do, the treatment they get from peers and family and lots more. Whenever these expectations are not met there sets in frustration. The worst part of frustration is the resultant of it. When we get frustrated we make some of the most nonsense decisions possible which might later cause trouble not just to us but even others for which we regret later. Frustration sets in when our earlier logic is disproved. Human mind is very good in logically analysing what has happened than in forecasting what can happen. So when the mind sees that what it had planned to happen doesn't match with what has happened, it can't digest it and hence puts us into confusion because the mind can't accept that it's logic can go wrong. By the time the mind understands the situation the emotion that settles in us is frustration. We get into a dilemma about our own decisions. This is what I call as fluctuations. So frustration means fluctuation. So how do we resolve this?

When a mathematical problem is given to you to solve without sufficient data obviously you cannot find out one perfect solution for it. In the same way when mind doesn't have all the information it needs to analyse something it gets confused. This is what happens during frustration. Obviously its difficult to stop the frustration from getting in but it definitely is possible to ward it away soon enough. The moment you get a hint that your mind has too many random thoughts running and you can't take your next step immediately take a sheet of paper and start writing down whatever is running in your mind. This will be the best way to put down valid thoughts on paper and mind gets rid of unnecessary ones and starts focusing on writing. Thus you make the mind free from confusion. Once you have written down all possible information, think over about your goal and what might have missed to reach it because of which you got frustrated. Add that and setup the next action plan. The main part here is to bring back the mind from jittering condition to stable condition to think.

Try this method the next time you get frustrated and let me know your feedback on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

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I just hope you don't get frustrated ever!

ALL Alone

Before I start off with this blog let me make one thing very clear. You might feel that I am way too pessimistic while you are reading this blog or I have completely lost hopes on all the people around me. Trust me, this blog has been churning waves inside me from a very long time but I couldn't put it on paper or blog because I, myself din't believe it enough. But after going through series of the same lessons repeatedly finally this blog comes out live in front of you through my very own experience.

You were born alone in this world. Even if you were born as one of the twins or triplets your birth was independent of that of the other's. Except for those rare siamese twins you don't share your body with anyone. I want to drive in a point that you were born ALONE, strictly ALL Alone. No one accompanies you during your process of birth. Sameways the death, when a person dies he dies alone. Even in case of a mishappening every soul that leaves a human body has an independent death path. No one else will go through the death at the same time in the same way you will go through whenever it occurs. You die ALL Alone. At the time of the two most important instances of our life called birth and death we are all alone. There will be no one else who will tread the same path along anyone of us. People feel that between this birth and death they are sharing their lives with everyone and vice-versa and are not alone. But let me tell you that you live your life also ALL Alone.

Get serious pal! Every moment of life that you breathe you do it ALL Alone. You might be sharing your food, costume, room, books, ideas, thoughts etc with your friends, family, 

colleagues, strangers etc. So you might be feeling that you are not at all lonely but let me remind you that you surely don't express whatever you feel and think with the people around you. You keep almost 90% of the true brain generated thoughts and heart generated feelings within yourself throughout your life. When this is the case when people around you know only 10% of you where is the question of the so called true social life? It is the misconception that has been built over thousands of years. Everyone walks around with the shield of the self and what you see of people is just the upper crispy crust. What lies beneath  the shield of self-protection is the core with which you live your entire life ALL alone.

With this being the case why do you have to wait for people to come and support you? No one will ever be able to understand your deep inner cravings inspite of you explaining them several hundred times. No one can ever feel what you feel with the same intensity no matter how much they tell that they can empathize because he/she can empathize only at that moment of conversation neither before nor after that. You have to go through every fight of your life ALL Alone. Infact I don't hesitate to tell you that even your parents are not spared by this wonderful miraculous creation of barrier between souls. Realize soon enough that you will be waiting until your death in vain if you are expecting that someone will come to fulfil your wishes, achieve your dreams and accomplish your visions. It's not going to happen my dear friend. Take charge of your life ALL Alone. You might falter many times but be happy that you will be ALL Alone whether you win or lose. Life is just the battle between your efforts and your expectations. You will have to think ALL Alone, you will have to plan ALL Alone, you will have to act ALL Alone to accomplish whatever you want to. You might still feel that we can do all these along with a team. Let me challenge you that not even a single person in your team can see the common dream the way you visualise it. When no 2 of you can even imagine or visualise the same do you still feel you are going to accomplish the same? A big NO! It's your life boss. Take it up ALL Alone.

Only saviour that's going to accompany you will be your Law of Attraction which will make the entire universe conspire to bring to you what you sternly believe in but you will have to implement the Law of Attraction also ALL Alone. I wouldn't take leave before reminding you that even while reading this blog you were reading ALL Alone. Your friend might be reading the same along with you but definitely you were ALL Alone while living through this blog.

Really curious to know your comments and feelings about this blog on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

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It's time to meet your loved one

The heartbeat rises. The eyesight flashes. The foresight sparkles. The mindnote increases. All these happen when you get to know that you are going to meet your loved one. Hats off to the creation of the Almighty. He dint make humans only of flesh and bones but of feelings and emotions as well. Not only humans even the animals are not spared when it comes to the beautifully marvellous sensation of love. We stop hearing the noisy horns on the road, we stop seeing the dirt on the glass, we stop feeling the hotness of summer when we are completely submerged under the mesmerizing imagination of the near future when we meet our loved one.

Years, months, days and minutes would have gone by from the time we met our loved one and one confirmation that we are gonna meet again can make us forget all the distance so far like mere seconds. This is the power of love. We jump into the imagination of how the meeting will happen, where the meeting will happen, at what time the meeting will happen. We are so sure that it might not at all happen the way we imagined but still we will invest our time and creativity to build the imaginary future meeting not out of madness but out of madness of love. The smile this imagination brings on our face, the glitter in the eyes can only be compared to that which happens at having just a look at our loved one.

We know that the wait is over, the time has come to meet our loved one. The thirst to converse increases, the hunger to shake hand expands, the crave for a hug zooms really big and we are aware that when all these are satisfied we are not on earth for sure. We are in the 9th heaven and thats the feeling of love with our loved one. Enjoy the feeling, remember the sensation, repeat the situation because "It's time to meet your loved one".

Tomorrow I am meeting my loved one. Are you? If so please share your experience on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

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Being Inside Out

"Being Transparent" could also have been the title of this blog. Can your thoughts, words and actions be in sync always? In the normal world there is world of a difference between what we think, what we talk and what we do. Why does this happen is the question of this context? Is it really that difficult or problematic to speak out what you are literally feeling!

You are walking to a class and you find a student in a very nice dress. Will you appreciate immediately or think what would he or she reply if you appreciated? Or there might be an ego inside you which may lead you otherwise saying he might be in a good dress but he is not a topper like you. When teacher explains a very good point in the class, do you acknowledge that or still keep regretting as to why took that course? When you come home late you know that your parents are angry about it. So do you apologise for it or justify the reason that you were late for? There are lot of choices of responses for all of the above questions. But the final destination of choice lies in your conscious which knows if you are really accepting the truth or you are trying to cover up the negligence.

There are lot of barriers in the world of feelings and emotions that bind us in such a way that we cant even breathe through the knots. Your heart craves to have a mercedes but the brain stops you from expressing the wish as it knows the practicality. Your intellect understands the high calibre of your colleague but your ego stops from appreciating that. Your soul cries out of pain when you come across a mishappening but your pride of being a MAN stops you from shedding those tears which inturn fill up a tsunami inside you. Your friendship calls you to call your friend the fourth time but your self-respect stops you from even picking up the phone.  The child inside you wants to play with the kids on the street doing hip-hop but the adolescence on top of you forbids the same. You want to hug your friend during the most sensitive situation but the question 'what will others think of you?' keeps you both apart.

I have tried to portray some of the fightings of feelings inside us in this blog. Please let me know if you also fight day and night through this war of life on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

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