Cut the cold conduct

It's seldom easy for the human mind to remain positive all the time. People keep changing their emotions and moods based on the environment around them. Life itself has no reason to remain the same way as everything is subjected to change and change being the law of nature. Due to these fluctuations of feelings amongst humans arises different kinds of misconducts. Until recently about couple of centuries back cold meant only the measure of thermal energy of a substance but off late it has come to measure the degree of cohesiveness amidst people.

 

The moment we are unhappy with someone it rings the bell in our heart. It warns us to remain silent and distances us far away from smiling at the person. The reasons needn't be genuine as well. They can just be mere assumptions. Ego comes as a wall between people and avoids them from sharing and clarifying the misunderstanding. No sooner the lack of communication leads to cold war between the two and eventually may lead to a break in relationship itself. Hence it's essential to cut this cold conduct. One must learn that being cold to someone is going invite a reciprocation of similar sorts and nothing different except in case of some Godly souls. The moment one is able to spot this cold conduct either in herself or himself or others, s/he must take immediate action of cutting it down. The simplest way to cut the cold conduct is by communicating with a wholehearted smile.

 

When I was listening to the audio of Anthony Robbins this evening, he shared an interesting insight into how the cold war between US and USSR ended. President Reagan had decided to put an end to the cold war and hence got up from his seat, walked 4 feet away and turned back with a fresh smile and said, "Let's start afresh". This freshness of feeling and a warm smile accompanied with a heartfelt greeting are more than sufficient to cut the cold conduct of a person. When two massive nations could cut down the cold war, we're after all simple humans, we too stand a chance to fight life's negativity.

The state of mind attracts the past of kind

In one of my recent reading through an amazingly exquisite book, I was learning about how the human brain is trained not to learn from history. Though we repeat huge number of times that we learn from our past mistakes, we seldom implement what we have learnt form our past in our present to make the future more pleasant. A very simple example to prove this epiphenomenon is, though we are aware that good and bad times keep coming and going in our life, we are fooled by such repeated occasions and we assume them to be long-lasting as long as they last.

Try to evaluate your state of mind right now. Whatever it may be as of now; it can be happy or sad. If you actually scan through the scenes running on your mind right now, they will be similar to your current state of mind. If you're very happy, all those memorable unforgettable moments of life when you won and people appreciated, the good times that you had with the closest people in your life shall be ruling your mind. If you're sad and down on energy, all those bad times of bad health, bad incidents, others mistakes causing your misery shall be ruining your mind. Our state of mind persists as long as we allow it to persist. If we feed it sufficiently and succinctly with the kind of fodder of the like, then it keeps building on it. It's up to us to choose what we want our brain to harvest on. The kind of input given will result in the same kind of thoughts, emotions and feelings.

Everyone has had his/her share of good and bad times. Life hasn't been cozy for anyone all along. It has offered its own share of rough times for man to become stronger to face such recurrences. If we don't hold on to the reigns of the horse, the horse shall take the path of its own choice. Same is the character of our mind. If we don't control what it thinks upon, it shall think about all the garbage available in the memory world. Hence, we need to take the extra step to raise our states of mind to be every happy and exhilarating with bubbling energy all the time. To make it happen we must go back to those past instances when we were in such states of mind and bring them back to rejuvenate the present state.

Take your writing to the next level

As I have been blogging for a pretty good time now for more than 500 days, I have found out that or rather I have realized that repetition takes away the flavour from the writing. I have to innovate something new either in terms of concept or writing style or vocabulary or point of view or narration to make the article more interesting and intriguing for my readers to read. Along with impressing the readers with my writing art and school of thought, I also need to satisfy the writing artist inside me who is unhappy staying at the same level of art. He wants to move to the next level.

 

In this blog post I want to share some of the inhibitions that I had to shed during the course of my blogging career and the amendments that I had to make to my writing style to make it more challenging so that it motivates me to continue pursuing my passion for blogging. One of the factors that always challenged me was the consistency. Whenever I missed blogging, I used to feel a high amount of guilt which would push me to make up by writing two blog posts the next day. The mental pressure to maintain consistency helped me continue blogging for so long. When I had to express the same emotions with the same words, it somewhat irritated me. I felt as if I was bound just by the same words for these emotions time and again. That's when I started to search for new words which could express the same emotions. Hence my vocabulary improved.

 

These two are basic examples which improved my blogging and writing skills. Thanks to Almighty and my mentor that I have been able to coach people on blogging front nowadays. I have been entrusted with the responsibility of judging blogs of young bloggers and I hope I have done justice to the trust vested in my judging capacity. Adding pictures has definitely elevated my blog posts to a visual plane which catches the eyes of the reader who lands on my blog and drags him into reading the blog post. With every progressing day I just try to take my writing to the next level.

Responses differ at times

The most unpredictable thing on this earth is the mood of a person. You might have experienced it many times that the same friend of yours reacts in different ways for the same thing at different times. The reason is the change in mood of your friend. The teacher comes to class and scolds even the best student for no reason while the same teacher on some other day is cool with the antics of the students. Once again the mood of the teacher was responsible for this contradictory behaviour.

 

Incidents on a daily basis keep influencing our moods and emotions. The worst part is that they carry their impact on other things that later enter the daily schedule of a person. As a result, the other things face a response which is a carry-over from the earlier experience. It so happens that we are not aware about what kind of a situation that a person has undergone before we go up to him/her to share our thoughts. At such times, the imagination of the response of the person in our mind is much different that that happens in the real scenario. At such times we make a general mistake that we conclude about the character or the attitude of the person which is not completely right. All of us are humans and not hard stones. As a result our moods are bound to swing with varied experiences across a day. So, whenever the response from a person is different from what we expected because of the wrong mood, instead of getting disappointed we should give some time or soothening words to the person to come back to the normal state and then re-narrate our words.

 

Not just humans, even non-living things respond differently under different circumstances. A very simple example is that of an iron rod which gets bent very easily when heated but is strong as a rock when cold and unbreakable. Understand the situation of a person before evaluating his/her response or attitude. You can feel free to share your feedback on is.mohanbn@gmail.com
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My grandma's technique

It is amazing to find that the degree of education need not determine the level of wisdom a person gains through the experiences of life. There are loads of examples on this earth of people who were very bad or very low in terms of their formal education but were really marvellous at their intellectual quotient to handle all the circumstances to create a nische for themselves in this world. I am not going to speak about any such personality today. I am going to narrate you about my very own grandmother's high level management technique.

I have been doing a lot of variety of work right from my schooling. I don't like to spend away the time of my life. Rather, I like to invest it like how I am doing while writing this blog. In this continuous spree of doing different things I couldn't keep up to the normal expected timing standards of a typical Indian family of coming back home before it's too dark. Also I had come up with some serious decisions for my own life to turn around things on my own shoulders which were quite far-fetched ideas for a conventional type of family like mine who were all into jobs. At this time all the elders in my family had a worry about the path that I was pursuing but none could question me about the same since I was very adamant to follow the path I had chosen. All the information that they could get was only from me and they couldn't share their fears with me. At this time my grandmother who has studied just upto 4th standard came up with a wonderful technique.

She was supportive of everything I was doing in front of me. When I was not at home, she shared her part of the worry with my uncle and got him to come over and see me work and colleagues without me knowing at all. She was so intelligent that she made sure that I didn't feel that my family didn't trust me but still got the confirmation of all that I was saying was true. She is 80 plus years of age now but has this immense wisdom of balancing fears and emotions. This can be one of the best management lessons of how to gather information but still make sure that the person in concern doesn't feel hurt because emotions and trust are the two main important entities in management and business. I hope you found my grandma's technique useful for you as well. You can write to me on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

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Learn the limits

Albert Einstein quoted that universe and human stupidity were infinite, while he was doubtful of the former one. No wonder that there is no limit to human stupidity. Its keeps growing day by day limitlessly. However apart from time and space which are eternal, everything else has a limit to its existence. Same is the scenario when it comes to we, humans. There is no question on the capacity of a human being which remains an ocean to be explored and exploited but in spite of this capacity there are certain shortcomings that we need to accept. These are called the limits or the check points which we need to learn about.

Everyone is blessed with some strengths and some weaknesses. There are positives and negatives in each and every individual. We can make a note of all our strengths and weaknesses. Earlier philosophy was to convert our weaknesses into strengths. As time progressed and the limit of available work time to finish all the tasks at hand started to crunch, new philosophy evolved which asked to only strengthen the strengths and just manage the weaknesses. I can be sure that the next philosophy to take birth will be a combination of both the earlier ones which will ask you to simultaneously strengthen your strengths while converting your weaknesses into strengths. Whichever of these philosophies you choose to follow is upto you as long as your work is completed within the time limit in the best expected manner. There are certain limits that we are used to till now in our lives. For example, one cannot go on continuously working for more than 8 hours, one cannot be awake for more than 16 hours continuously, one cannot read for more than 4 hours a day, one cannot sleep for more than 9 hours a night, one cannot write more than ten blogs a day etc. With respect to any work or fun we are involved in, we have certain threshold points beyond which we cannot go on. It's very important to be aware of such thresholds for the self in regard to various activities that we perform. These are what I call as limits and I advocate everyone of you reading this blog to learn such limits of yourself.

The disadvantage of being ignorant of such limits is that once you have tipped off the threshold for any such activity, you start feeling dragged towards the activity be it fun or work instead of being motivated. When you try to extend beyond the limit, you might end up with disturbed feelings and emotions which will further hamper the next course of action. When you are aware of your own limits, then you will clearly know as to when to take a break. Knowing your limits will also help you to plan your work and fun in proper balance to have a well-balanced life. Hence I reiterate to learn your limits.
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The passing time

1440 minutes of a day sometimes feels very less for us. We are piled upon with responsibilities and work right from the time we wake up till the time we get back to bed. Its so difficult to complete all the day's work within a day. Hence many extend their days into nights as well. Students study extra hard until midnight, people work overnight to meet completion before the deadline. The time is just passing by all the time. Time is so eternal and consistent that it takes no break whatsoever. Inspite of working continuously for hours together some achieve more while some achieve less.

The reason for the difference in result for the same input of time is the efficiency in usage of time. I still remember an example of one of my seniors in my college who had to take an appointment to meet his own father. I don't want to get behind the emotions of this statement but let's accept the truth that some people are really busy where every minute, every second of their's counts. Do we have a tight schedule like this? is the question. Some might feel 'yes' because we need to get up early in the morning, get ready, reach our college/office, come back in the evening to finish off the pending tasks of work or study or home and go back to sleep to wake up early next morning again. If you feel this is the busy schedule due to which you cannot really do all that you want then you are absolutely wrong. The time we spend in bus just travelling is a passing time. The time that we take to walk slowly towards our classroom or cubicle in office is a passing time The time that we spend to watch a good song on the TV amidst our work our study is the passing time. The time that we spend to just get out of the house to take a walk in the balcony and see who's on the road is a passing time. The time that we spend on talking about others with our pals is the passing time. There can be countless such examples of passing time where only the time is passing by the next hour and we are stagnant at the same state of life doing things which won't help us move even an inch forward in our lives. This is where we lose the efficient usage of time where the successful people take a victory over.

There is no offence to anyone who loses time in any of the above manners. It is quite natural until we understand the preciousness of time and planning. More important of all is the desire to utilize every moment of life to reach faster towards our dreams. One with no purpose of life and no goals just passes all the time day dreaming and blaming that nothing can happen in life. Friends! once again I stress upon the best usage of time. All the best!!!!!!!
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Feel, Felt, Found

'Feel, Felt, Found' is one of the age old philosophies used by wise men to solve problems of others in this world. I am glad enough that I was able to learn this quickly in my life during my experience in sales and marketing. Some call it a technique, some say its lying. Well all that doesn't matter as long as it serves the purpose of improving one's life. Humans are all about feelings, they buy things not out of logic but out of feeling. As a result this is a technique used by many sales professionals to improve their sales conversions. The bigger role played by this method is to solve misconceptions and help build a better harmonious relationship between people.

Whenever a person is in problem, quite often one thinks that it is the problem which he alone is facing in the entire world. Its very normal that we see our problems bigger than that of others. It is the trend of human psychology followed from years together which will continue forever with the majority. When the person is unable to solve the problem, he goes to a wiser man seeking a solution. If the wise person suggests a solution directly and if it involves some correction within the problem holder, then its difficult for him to accept as it will hurt his ego because most think that they have acted exactly right in their situation. At this time the wise man recollects one of his past experiences similar or sometimes the same to the current problem of the person and explains how he had felt at that time. He shows the same emotions and feelings that turmoiled his peace of mind just like they are doing for the problem holder now. As a result of which the wise man actually feels the pain of the problem of the other person right in himself right at the moment of giving the solution. Then the wise man explains how he found a solution for himself to come out of the problem. This step is more than enough for the problem holder to understand how another human being could get out of the problem similar to that of his and hence can apply the same in his life.

On very few exceptions, some are satisfied by the hope of having understood that the problem was not new and it had a solution already applied by someone else but still want a specific solution for their problem. Its easy to sow the seeds once the field is ploughed well. Similarly its easy to sow the solutions once the pessimistic barrier is broken. Then its a cake walk for the wise to suggest the simplest solution that can easily solve the problem. This builds more trust and strengthens the relationship between the wise and the novice.

I have shared my feel here, have you felt and found the same? If yes, please write back to me on is.mohanbn@gmail.com
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Surprise the saboteur

It was a long tiring day continued to night but I just don't feel that tiredness when I come online for blogging to share the lesson of the day with my dear pals. We humans have a tuned mindset in many regards. Few of them are like we follow certain things only if they are interesting enough else however valuable they are we neglect them, we celebrate success and victories and enjoy every bit of it but we are totally sad and depressed whenever we face a defeat. We are happy when we are praised and angry when fought with. This world is not pure enough to leave you to play as per your wishes. There are checkpoints everywhere where people want to just take the advantage of you, cheat you, deceive you or do any kind of wrong thing against you. Such people are called as saboteurs, people who ruin stuff. Generally our reaction towards such people is that of hatred, anger, silence, disrespect and other hard feelings. How would it be if we surprise these saboteurs!!!!!!!!

You might be just wondering that this idea is strangely against the norms of normal human behaviour. Infact the title itself is in contrast trying to connect two solstitial ends. On one hand there is surprise which depicts a positive feeling while on the other is the saboteur which indicates the negative impression. When 98% of them follow the normal ordinary customs, 2% out of the crowd change the direction to create a new result and that's what this title is all about. I am damn sure that you would have heard that whenever there is any tough situation- "respond but don't react". Reaction is something that is spontaneous but response is something that you choose. Whenever there is any argument or any fight, bad feelings immediately follow the situation between the two parties. If you're one of these parties then take the way that 2% of the population will take. If you're sure that you were very clean with your intentions and actions then surprise back the opposite party which was a saboteur putting you into disgrace. Show no sign of disrespect or any hard feeling with respect to the person who actually made the mistake of putting you into trouble. Instead show a wide smiling face filled with energy. Accept the wrong done to you and work to better the situation. If possible even help the opposite saboteur to benefit from your actions. Just forget the harm done and behave as if you really never spotted the negative done to you by the saboteur. Get along with him/her as if everything is just normal and all was normal before as well. Concentrate on driving a far more better friendlier relation with the same person.

Probably the last few sentences of the previous paragraph might have confused you a little. Let me explain friends that we live in a very small world. Though the earth bears a 700 crore plus population our world is comprised of those few hundreds whom we know and interact with only. What is the point in carrying negative feelings and emotions against this small subset of the world. More than harming anyone else we are just harming ourselves. Forgive and forget and move on to make things better. The place you give for one negative emotion in your heart means the same denied for one positive emotion. Lets avoid this. The moment you surprise your saboteur with the good feelings, you also give a chance to him/her to learn a lesson. His anger can only fight with your anger but not with your sweet smile. Even that person has to lose the battle of ego clash infront of the love that you shower because his guilt of betraying you will be clearly visible in the mirror of your genuinity. All of us together contribute to the happiness quotient of this earth. Let's make our best efforts to increase it to cross the limits.

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Expression is a must

In my dream last night, I met Dwayne Rocky Johnson alias The Rock, the superstar of WWE Universe. I was ecstatic to bring him to one of my friends' home. The Rock was 6 foot 4 inches tall, dressed in one of the best stylish suits with a french beard and with his awesome smile. I was filled with joy of having met him face to face and was smiling continuously throughout the episode. Even my friends were wondering as to how I had got the chance to bring the Rock home. Rock was very friendly without an air of being a celebrity and was sharing his experiences of life with us. After sometime the Rock had to leave to the airport and I escorted him back. I could see myself in complete happiness when I met the Rock and in some sort of a sad feeling when he was going back. I could see myself expressing these emotions in my dream.

Friends! not only the emotions or feelings everything that you think or feel about something or someone has to be expressed if your thought or feeling has to have some value. Until now humans haven't been able to develop a techonology that can read the impulses running in your mind and print out exactly what you are thinking about. Might be the blood pressure variation can determine whether you're in an excited state or in depression state. Apart from these no one can get to know what you think about them. You might be having a million thoughts in your mind on how to develop this world but unless they are expressed not even a single one of them will turn into action. Great Thinkers were called as Great Thinkers because they not only did the thinking work but also expressed their thoughts. In today's world of chaos people have lost the hope that there is no one to listen to their thoughts or feelings. This is one of biggest misconceptions that has to be broken right now. You are on this earth for a reason. God has provided you with the ability to think and dream in order to use it to better the place where you were born before you leave it. Make use of it and make sure of it that it serves the purpose. The form of expression need not be only talking. Some people express their thoughts through movies, some through blogs, some through dramas, some through poems, some through talks, some through music, some through journalism, some through actions, some through business, some through paintings, some through architecture and loads of other billion ways. Ultimately if your thoughts have to reach the world you must express.

Those who shy away from expressing their thoughts and feelings not only lose the benefits that would have reaped if they had expressed but also would deprive this universe those advantages of their thoughts. If the scientists hadn't explored and experimented their thoughts not only would they have lost out on so many Nobel prizes but also this world wouldn't have been so advanced as it is today. When you don't express your feelings to the other person, he/she doesn't know how much you feel for them and vice-versa. The other person can feel for you only when you can feel for him/her which you must express. When I couldn't control expressing my emotions in my dream would I stop myself from expressing myself in real life!

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Frustration means Fluctuation

Everyone of us are ruled by these non-physical entities called as emotions. Our moods vary from time to time. No doubt that with great efforts and continuous training of the mind we can reach the level of being stable irrespective of the mood variations but this is not at all a simple task. Also not everyone will be able to achieve it. Even the best who were believed to have the highest control over their feelings had to surrender to the same at times. Lot of things result in the emotions that we emote. The surrounding circumstances, our perception towards situations, our very own health conditions etc culminate together to result in the emotions that at times take complete control over us and our decisions and hence actions.

In this particular blog I am taking up the topic of 'Frustration'. Probably everyone on this planet have gone through this state of mind. Might be sometimes even God gets frustrated watching the things that humans are doing. In general, people have an expectation set against the work they do, the treatment they get from peers and family and lots more. Whenever these expectations are not met there sets in frustration. The worst part of frustration is the resultant of it. When we get frustrated we make some of the most nonsense decisions possible which might later cause trouble not just to us but even others for which we regret later. Frustration sets in when our earlier logic is disproved. Human mind is very good in logically analysing what has happened than in forecasting what can happen. So when the mind sees that what it had planned to happen doesn't match with what has happened, it can't digest it and hence puts us into confusion because the mind can't accept that it's logic can go wrong. By the time the mind understands the situation the emotion that settles in us is frustration. We get into a dilemma about our own decisions. This is what I call as fluctuations. So frustration means fluctuation. So how do we resolve this?

When a mathematical problem is given to you to solve without sufficient data obviously you cannot find out one perfect solution for it. In the same way when mind doesn't have all the information it needs to analyse something it gets confused. This is what happens during frustration. Obviously its difficult to stop the frustration from getting in but it definitely is possible to ward it away soon enough. The moment you get a hint that your mind has too many random thoughts running and you can't take your next step immediately take a sheet of paper and start writing down whatever is running in your mind. This will be the best way to put down valid thoughts on paper and mind gets rid of unnecessary ones and starts focusing on writing. Thus you make the mind free from confusion. Once you have written down all possible information, think over about your goal and what might have missed to reach it because of which you got frustrated. Add that and setup the next action plan. The main part here is to bring back the mind from jittering condition to stable condition to think.

Try this method the next time you get frustrated and let me know your feedback on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

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I just hope you don't get frustrated ever!