Respect and regard

In our email communication we write 'Regards' at the end of the mail before writing our name. We use a greeting such as 'Good morning', 'Good evening' or 'Dear', 'Respected' to begin the mail with. The email already shows at what time the mail was sent. It also indicates as to from whom it was received. So these simple words of formality or greeting might seem redundant but they are necessary. There is a particular format in which a formal letter must be written. The way we write in expresses our respect towards the person to whom the letter is concerned. No one is obligated to respect another person, it's just common sense to understand the philosophy of 'give respect and take respect'.

 

Communication is one of the most intricate parts of our daily life because every moment we are communicating something or the other to the world around us. Conveying the right respect and regard to people with whom we are communicating is highly essential to ensure the right flow of communication and relationship sustenance. No one likes to be asked about work at the first shot. Everyone expects a warm greeting before even beginning a conversation. People are already pressurized from all sides by commanders who keep asking for reports from them. We are humans and not computers. Even animals expect care and love before getting ordered to sit in a corner. Likewise even humans expect courtesy before being asked anything. This warm feeling can only be expressed through respectful greetings and warm regards which everyone needs to learn else the simple straight forward words might sound just too offending.

 

Even if we go back to the days of old stone age, humans definitely existed and they lived. Even in the modern age people are thriving in their wonderful lives. Hundred years later too, humans shall exist unless there is a drastic sudden catastrophe that might wash away the human race from the face of the earth. People are here to stay. The work came later. All that people need to live is food, clothing and shelter. More than the hunger for food, there is a greater hunger for care and love in this world, said Mother Theresa. Respecting the feelings and emotions of people is far more important than the work to happen. Hence expressing the right respects and the best regards to others while communicating should be our way of living.

Reputation is Temporary

All of us want name, fame and reputation(though all three mean the same, I still want to emphasize on the size of desire in us for these) . We want people to know us, adore us and respect us. We like and love to be in the limelight. Probably some of my dear readers might be nodding their head sideways disagreeing with the want, still its a human instinct to seek attention, credit and recognition. Some might not desire for reputation but will definitely not mind a bit if they gain some. Let's dig deep into one more quote from the book 'Life Simplified!' by Sujit Lalwani, a pro in sales and marketing and the master of networking.

 

Each one of us are working in our streams contributing something or the other towards the world around us. Some work harder while some work smarter. At the end of the day when it comes to return for the efforts we have put in, it's always either in the form of cash or kind. Cash is a complete monetary aspect which we won't touch in the current blog. Coming to the 'kind' it might be some kind of a honorary gift or a reward or a momento. When the number of these rewards start increasing, the name of the person shall start spreading to more number of tongues and in recommendations of the required type. As more and more of such occasions repeat where the person is being referred to among large audience definitely the image of the person grows in the eyes of the people and this is what reputation is all about. Most of us seek this kind of a special attention

where in we expect that  people should recognise us wherever we go because our name should have reached the place before us.

 

Just like how a human life is mortal, even the reputation is short-lived which is built just around us and not around our work. Reputation that symbolises only a person is as alive as the person is. The moment the person ceases to exist on the planet even the reputation vanishes. In fact the reputation that we try to build is so fragile that it breaks away with a simple misunderstanding. It is just like trying to build a monument out of the softest glass on this earth. Hence the author suggests one not to run behind something that itself doesn't have any value. You too can share your perceptions on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

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Free lifestyle: Free of make-ups and get-ups

The only two points in life when we least care about what others think about us are; one, when we are in our birthbed and the second when we are in our deathbed. In fact there is a famous proverb is kannada which translates into english like this- "When we came to this world we were naked and when we go back from this world we shall be naked. What you find in between these two is just darkness". This proverb is more rhyming in kannada. In spite of this clear understanding we put up a lot of get-ups and make-ups to show our untrueselves to the world outside. Reasons are many for doing so while we are losing out on the real happiness of a free lifestyle: free of get-ups and make-ups.

Someone said "eating is our choice but dressing is others' choice". This statement is so true that if you observe the people around you, you shall find that people can't wear dresses which they like or are comfortable in. They have to wear dresses that suit the customs, business etiquette, pride or to just impress someone else. Most of the times we don't throw out our opinions either because of elders' fear, embarrasment to people in higher positions, fear of law, fear of losing the liking/respect from people. We put on an artificial smile just to hide our emotions and move on with such situations. Man has completely lost the ability to sustain on one's own emotions except a few highly matured yogis or wise men(similar women included). In today's modern generation suffering from emotional turmoil, each one needs someone else to rely upon, to share the owes of life and someone to empathize and sympathize. At the end of the day life just seems to be a drama where in we just play the roles assigned by the world than being ourselves.

The reason for all these get-ups and make-ups are our desires. We would want to seep in through every possible situation only to enjoy all that we desire. Hence you will find those people who have either lived all the desires of the world or who have renounced all desires in their purest form who don't fear saying their true inert feelings and dress in a simple style called the free lifestyle: free of make-ups and get-ups which not many would like do compromise for in this modern sophisticated fashionable world. You can really feel free to feed your feedback on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

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Customers love service

I myself have been a repeating customer for many businesses which have served me really well. In business you have two main streams. One is the product and the other is the service. Some create products for the customers to serve them while some provide services directly to the customer. Some businesses combine both of them by offering you services to their products. Steve Jobs was one man who always focussed on giving maximum user satisfaction in the usage of any of the apple devices. The key here is the customer's satisfaction.

No matter how wonderful your product is, if the customer is not treated well when s/he comes to you for the purchase then you won't get the sale. Sometimes in spite of knowing that a better product is available somewhere else customers prefer to go back to those vendors who served them well during their previous purchases. This is quite natural though its against the logical reasoning of choosing a better product at a better price. The simple reason being sales do not happen over logic. Customers buy out of feelings and emotions. A very simple example for this is the purchase of clothes. Anything that you put on that can cover your body and give protection can be worn logically but the irony is people prefer to wear clothes in which they look better than what they really are. In fact wearing stylish clothes has got entangled with prestige issue nowadays. All these happy and pride feelings are just emotions without any mathematical logic. So whosoever can win the emotions of the customer through a charming service shall get the sale.

Service is all about a smile, respect and thank you. If you can serve the customer smilingly with complete respect to his/her choices and thank him/her for giving you the chance of helping him/her then you can be cent percent sure that the customer is satisfied with your service and shall come back to you for a repeated sale. Customer is the King and he needs to be served well and satisfied and he shall return to you soon and often. Shower some of your sales lessons on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

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When it hurts, it's EGO

EGO means 'Eliminating Growing Opportunities'. We are born as human beings and probably we are the only set of species who can be hurt even without touching us. Words are the most powerful weapons than even bazookas sometimes. Probably the mythological stories which spoke of shaapas, by which any person could make the other person suffer just by uttering few words are the real proofs of the power that words have in them. Every weapon has a destination to destroy. Ego is the destination that we build in ourselves as we grow up to destroy our very own self-being.

No doubt that ego is the negative emotion that we have built in ourselves. Please don't confuse self-esteem with ego which most of them do when they say "I don't have ego but I cannot give up my self-esteem". Friends! the word 'self-esteem' in itself has the word 'self' which means it's applicable for the self only. When you respect yourself and you maintain your integrity to keep up to the respect in your own eyes for youself then you have your self-esteem guarded very well and no one can even touch it to disturb it. The moment you are hurt by a simple comment or tease or act of someone else towards you, then alarm yourself that it was not your self-esteem which got hurt but it was your ego. When you are right in your own eyes, self-esteem can't be disturbed at all but when you feel bad that other person doesn't value you as you value yourself then it's the ego that gets hurt and makes you feel bad.

I have come across a lot of irrelevant comments and ridicules about myself in the past and as experience grew I could only realise that these were logically irrelevant and I was still feeling bad about them because I had set my expectations as to how people should respect me. This was the wall of ego that I had built in myself which I completely shattered as time passed by to make sure that the destination to destroy itself didn't exist anymore. Since then any hard words just pass through my ears without even entering my heart. Destroy the wall of ego in the self because no weapon is thrown when there is no target. I don't mind asking my dear readers for feedback again and again as there is no ego to get hurt if I don't get any on www.facebook.com/ismohanbn

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Respect commitments to the self

Commitments are the most important promises that we make to ourselves and to others. Commitments are also used in certain other different scenarios such as personal commitments or family commitments or business commitments where in sometimes they are not just promises but are contracts or dire necessities without fulfilling which the life cannot proceed in a sound manner. If we expect someone else to believe in our commitments, we must first believe in us that we will live upto the commitments that we make to ourselves.

New year resolutions are some of the common commitments that people make to themselves and hardly few percentage of them are ever fulfilled throughout entire lifetime. It all depends upon how much of respect that we give to our own words. I still remember an example wherein Mahatma Gandhiji had stopped eating jaggery for some days just to advise a son of His disciple not to eat jaggery, because Bapu felt that if he couldn't stop eating jaggery, he couldn't advise someone else on the same lines. So he took a commitment to Himself that he wouldn't eat jaggery. The prime motive of His was to lead by example and hence he respected even this small commitment to himself though the situation would have got resolved by He just adivsing the little boy. Just because of his commitment to lead by example he could forfeit his desire for jaggery. Such should be the respect that we give to our commitments. Sometimes we make commitments out of motivation during a small period of time and after that motivation subsides we start disregarding our own commitments and break them. The reason for this is that we forget the reasons for our motivation that we had sometime back. So how do we make sure that we don't break these commitments?

If you can live upto the commitments that you make to oneself then you can easily fulfil the commitments made to others. Hence I will talk or rather write about just three simple steps to make sure that we respect and fulfil the commitments made to the self. First, write down the reasons for you taking up any commitment and preserve this to read and re-read everytime you are working towards this commitment irrespective of whether you have or have lost the motivation. If you have lost the motivaion, reading will trigger it back, if you still have the motivation it will just multiply by re-reading the reasons for the same. Second, there will be certain instances when you will be dragged away by negative forces such as laziness or ill health or disinterestedness or disturbed feelings due to which even reading doesn't bring back the motivation. At these circumstances, just remember that by breaking the commitment you are going to further worsen the situation and just by doing the small work required will definitely make the situation better. Its a simple human psychology which always becomes happy when you do something that you think you cannot do. Third, the belief inside us in ourselves grows everytime we stand for what we speak. We don't have to make big commitments to change the country or the society or the world. Small simple commitments that we make to change ourselves positively can be more than sufficient to cast an impact towards global betterment because you are bound to definitely influence this character of yours into others around you.

Everyday blogging is one of the small commitments that I make to myself and fulfil but sometimes when I fail to do so, I come back with double the efforts to cover up the past failure. Hope to know your stories on self-commitments on is.mohanbn@gmail.com
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When a smile flashes light

"Smile is a curve that sets many things straight" - What better explanation than a mathematical one for something that is so special as SMILE. May be God blessed only Karna of Mahabharatha with different jewellery all over his body at the time of birth but He din't forgive to asset everyone with the most luxurious jewellery of life called SMILE. Unfortunately Karna lost every piece of jewels that he was blessed with in due course of his life but this special gem SMILE stays with us forever until our death and also after death in some hearts and memories. Its only a choice whether you want to wear this precious element over your face alltime or save it only for special occasions.

I used to have a dream in childhood that wherever I am going I should see people all of whom would be smiling at me and wishing me. So I used to say 'Hi' to every person whom I knew on the road or on the pavement and give my best smile. 'Give respect take respect' was taught to me in school. I just extended it to 'Give smile take smile'. Having a smiling face is one of the best gifts you would have got from your parents. Thank God! that there is no eligibility criteria of marks or rank to smile at someone or to be smiled at. Smile at the security guard while entering office or school. If you know his name wish him accompanying with his name. This best combo of a smiling wishing can make the day enjoyable for him. Sound cannot travel as fast and as strong as light. Even if you are far away from a person give a wide smile if you can't or don't want to shout. That smile itself would have reached the eyes of the other person. How nice would it be when you are walking through the cafeteria and you are smiling and wishing people at every step. Probably others who don't know you might think of you as a celebrity. What's wrong in feeling like a celebrity! When just a girl's smile can make boys go mad can't your smile make a stranger a friend. Trust me I have tried and tested this and it works. I have made many friends starting just with a smile.

There is always a soothening effect of a smile. Just imagine that smile of a just born baby which is toothless. It can make you forget every worry of life for a momemt. Lets continue this string of moments in life. Perhaps there will be certain times when you are really down and not even able to lift your cheeks. That is the time the seeds which you would have sown earlier reap the fruits. The moment you see a person he will smile at you first because he knows that's your special trait. 'For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction' as Newton says. So that smile will light up the smile inside you. Especially if that person to flash the morning smile on a guy is a beautiful girl you just have to say "Subaan Allah"!!!!!!!!!!!

Please share your flashes of smiles in the form of comments on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

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Learn 2 Earn; Earn 2 Learn

"What is this wonderful beauty of the language!" I keep wondering sometimes. Just add a letter to an existing word and the entire meaning changes. Use the same words repeatedly but in different order and there's a message for life. Thanks to those intuitive minds whoever created this language and helped it evolve. Coming to the topic of today "Learn 2 Earn; Earn 2 Learn" was a post on facebook a few days back but today it evolves itself as a post on my blog. Yes I am back to my work - ABAD : A Blog A Day. There were innumerable reasons for not continuing ABAD at the required pace and in this process a great learning was bestowed upon me by the Almighty and this is what this blog will be talking about.

Before starting I would like to erase the misconception off the reader's mind that earning doesn't mean only earning money. You can earn respect of the society, you can earn trust of your friends, you can earn the love of your loved ones and so on and so forth. Every feeling, thought and emotion which can make you extra stronger and more capable to face the world to pursue your aspirations is an earning in itself. People have been misguided in the current scenario of the world that only earning money will help them achieve all that they want in life. Its an apathy to know that some of the big money builders of the world are battling depression because they have lost every friend and family member in the pursuit of building the golden castle which ended up in isolation. Let's come out of this cliche created by the artificial glamour surrounding us. Its time to think back on the lines of 3G (3 Greek philosophers)- Aristotle, Plato and Socrates who passed some of the most valuable lessons for life.

Similar to the ladder of earning money in life earning name, trust, love, respect etc follow the pattern of unending repetitions of learning and implementing. We learn new things and implement them in our business or jobs to produce extra outputs which will result in extra income for us. In the same fashion learn every tiny detail of life which will help you move ahead towards your goals. Learn the way to get people interested in you, learn how to inspire your pals, learn how to walk an extra mile in adversity not just for sake of the self but for the benefit of others, learn how to shed off your ego in front of the more deserving human beings, learn the boomerang effect - "What you give is what you get", learn how to give an extra thought, extra smile, extra effort to make your surroundings more cheerful. In this process of learning you might fail 'n' number of times but I am very sure that you will succeed also 'm' number of times and these will be the times when you will be building the prosperity of life step by step in every arena of it. In this process when you earn little gifts of life you would have realised the lessons behind them. Never become complacent because life has bigger gifts in store for you. With the experience backup that you would have earned learning more will become much more easy which will definitely lead to a fulfilling life.

The moment you stop learning you stop earning as well. So make sure to keep the cycle of learning and earning; earning and learning continuing forever.

If you feel you have either learned or earned anything from this blog do post them on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

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