Be the mirror

"People are not difficult, people are just different" - This is one of the famous quotes by the serial entrepreneur Er.Sujit Lalwani. This statement is so true that we an apply it in our day to day life as we keep interacting with lot of people. Since man is a social being, he has to live in a society with the best interpersonal skills to achieve his objectives. People are different and as a result their opinions are different, their attitudes are different. Some might be in sync with your way of thinking while some might not be. If you are aiming to convince all by your point of view then its going to be absolutely impossible. You will have to do so in their own style. This is what I mean by 'be the mirror'.

Everything in this world has a meaning associated with it which is generic enough for everyone but people define their own definitions for different things as per their background, education, experience, exposure, attitude and other factors. Some of the unquantified words oftentimes take the definitions defined by individuals and when two such people argue about them there's a clash due to different perceptions as well as perception levels. As a result of these differences people with more authority will definitely try to dominate with their definitions. In such circumstances there is no point in arguing between two perceptions. Let's use the solution of mirror effect at this point. Just observe the way other person talks and figure out his/her prominent points used to confront any argument. This requires good observation and learning as well. Then apply the same method to your arguments and present it to the opposition. Its as simple as fighting with a person who is having a gun with a gun itself. There's no point in using a sword against the gun.

Every person has his own strong means of winning arguments and to prove his point just for the sake of ego. There's no point pointing out the ego because some cannot just live without it and even that pointing out will hurt their ego. Just behave the way they do in their own style in front of them. Showcase the exact reflection of the other person by being the mirror infront of him. They cannot face their own self when they are wrong and that will give them a chance to correct themselves and a chance for you to put across your points on the same bridge.

Conflicts, confrontations are common. Comeback with your views on this blog on is.mohanbn@gmail.com
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Maintain distance

The world is in itself a family and all of us belong to that. All of us have to gel with each other and cooperate to make the world a happy place to dwell in. Humans should not allow their ego to come in between relationships and make the best use of different talents of different people to yield the best positive results to the team. Every moment of our life we keep interacting with one or the other person either directly or indirectly as man is a social being. During these interactions our relationship grows to different extents with different people. So what is the extent to which another person can interact with us or to what extent can we take the other person for granted is dependent on the distance that's maintained between us.

In case of a stranger, the distance is just infinite because neither you nor the stranger interact with each other. In case of parents or spouse, I feel its the shortest distance that can be maintained in life which tends to zero. In case of relatives, friends and colleagues this distance between you and them takes different sizes. Its very important for us to understand that we can't be close to everyone like that of a family. So there should be some extent of limitation for any kind of relationship outside family. Neither can you take anyone for granted nor should you allow anyone to take you for granted. Always keep your mind clear enough to recognise when either of you are crossing the boundaries. In case of any relationship it is necessary for you to clearly understand what is the respect and dignity that needs to be exchanged between the two of you. Sometimes either we get too harsh to enter the personal space of someone else or on the other hand we become too modest to allow the other person to intrude into our personal space. Just make sure that you alert yourself when you get into any of these scenarios. If its the first case, please don't have the ego to apologise to the other person for stepping a bit extra and if its the second case, inform the other person in gentle words that he/she is crossing his/her limits. Else the relationship is going to ruin one step ahead for sure.

I wanted to narrate some personal experiences in this blog but have avoided it only because my reader shouldn't get influenced by them. Everyone has self-respect and love for one's own interests in this world. At anytime a comment on it by an outsider always hurts. I feel in this world people are killed more by words rather than bombs or swords or guns. Let's spread smile and sweet feelings all around us by maintaining proper distance. Please feel free to share your feedback on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

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Surprise the saboteur

It was a long tiring day continued to night but I just don't feel that tiredness when I come online for blogging to share the lesson of the day with my dear pals. We humans have a tuned mindset in many regards. Few of them are like we follow certain things only if they are interesting enough else however valuable they are we neglect them, we celebrate success and victories and enjoy every bit of it but we are totally sad and depressed whenever we face a defeat. We are happy when we are praised and angry when fought with. This world is not pure enough to leave you to play as per your wishes. There are checkpoints everywhere where people want to just take the advantage of you, cheat you, deceive you or do any kind of wrong thing against you. Such people are called as saboteurs, people who ruin stuff. Generally our reaction towards such people is that of hatred, anger, silence, disrespect and other hard feelings. How would it be if we surprise these saboteurs!!!!!!!!

You might be just wondering that this idea is strangely against the norms of normal human behaviour. Infact the title itself is in contrast trying to connect two solstitial ends. On one hand there is surprise which depicts a positive feeling while on the other is the saboteur which indicates the negative impression. When 98% of them follow the normal ordinary customs, 2% out of the crowd change the direction to create a new result and that's what this title is all about. I am damn sure that you would have heard that whenever there is any tough situation- "respond but don't react". Reaction is something that is spontaneous but response is something that you choose. Whenever there is any argument or any fight, bad feelings immediately follow the situation between the two parties. If you're one of these parties then take the way that 2% of the population will take. If you're sure that you were very clean with your intentions and actions then surprise back the opposite party which was a saboteur putting you into disgrace. Show no sign of disrespect or any hard feeling with respect to the person who actually made the mistake of putting you into trouble. Instead show a wide smiling face filled with energy. Accept the wrong done to you and work to better the situation. If possible even help the opposite saboteur to benefit from your actions. Just forget the harm done and behave as if you really never spotted the negative done to you by the saboteur. Get along with him/her as if everything is just normal and all was normal before as well. Concentrate on driving a far more better friendlier relation with the same person.

Probably the last few sentences of the previous paragraph might have confused you a little. Let me explain friends that we live in a very small world. Though the earth bears a 700 crore plus population our world is comprised of those few hundreds whom we know and interact with only. What is the point in carrying negative feelings and emotions against this small subset of the world. More than harming anyone else we are just harming ourselves. Forgive and forget and move on to make things better. The place you give for one negative emotion in your heart means the same denied for one positive emotion. Lets avoid this. The moment you surprise your saboteur with the good feelings, you also give a chance to him/her to learn a lesson. His anger can only fight with your anger but not with your sweet smile. Even that person has to lose the battle of ego clash infront of the love that you shower because his guilt of betraying you will be clearly visible in the mirror of your genuinity. All of us together contribute to the happiness quotient of this earth. Let's make our best efforts to increase it to cross the limits.

If you are happy, my intentions of writing this blog have yielded fruits. I would love to read your feedback on is.mohanbn@gmail.com
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