The world around was still the same

Tough phases are bound to be a part of everyone's lives. Likewise are the good phases. You never know what phase is the person sitting right next to you in the bus is going through. You never know if her eyes were red because she was crying unable to let out her tears or was it the mistake of the kajal that made her eyes go red. You never know if he was sleepy or was it the pressure of disappointment that made the blood rush through the veins in those white eyes. Phases are a part of everyone's lives but none show them to the world around. When the phase is going on the person has no idea of what's happening around in the world. The moment one is out of it and comes into realization of the world around, what s/he sees is quite astonishing. The world around is running the same way like before completely deaf and blind to the kind of phase one has just gone through. This is the real truth of this world.

Different phases of life make us go through different feelings and emotions. Some can be expressed in front of others while some can't be. In fact, differentiating between happy or tough or learning phases is also very difficult and the distinction is solely decided and felt only by the individual going through the phases. People in the world around might have gone through the same phases but yet might be completely helpless to empathize with the person. As a result, the individual is left all alone to go through the phase and grow through it. None is spared from these tests of life. It's a lonely battle out there. Everyone is involved in such lonely battles in their own respective lives while none of such battles are exposed to each other. The moment we are out of our homes to face the world, we get back to our normal selves who seem to be carrying on with life just like how it was before. The lips widen to smile big and the speed catches the legs to not miss the bus to office. We become the same part of the world which seems completely unchanged for a person who has just got out of the toughest phase of his/her life. All of us do know it very clearly that humans are mortal. All of us might have born to different parents but the mankind is one single community. Animals or machines might be unable to understand about your phases but other human beings definitely can. Yet we don't share with the world what's happening in our lives. Reasons are many because, at the end of the day, all of us are just humans, neither animals nor machines.

The moment we are unable to get the expected responses from the world around, we start blaming the entire world and make generic statements that the world is cruel, bad and sad. All that you see in the world is what is occupying your mind at that current state of mind. When you're happy everything that's colourful and bright in the world catches your eyes. When you're hurt only resentment and discouraging statements fall into your ears. When you are completely clear without any expectations or anticipations coming out just after a tough phase the world reflects the same. It doesn't show any expectation out of you and is completely unaware of the kind of anticipations that you shall make out of it. I saw the same as I came out of one of the challenging phases of my life, the world around was still the same.

Experience to empathize

In one of my previous blogs I had spoken about empathy. Empathy is a very important quality that one should have to understand others emotions and feelings. You can check more about its importance in the following link http://mohanbn.blogspot.in/2012/12/empathy-art-to-learn.html. However here I would like to touch upon the topic about how to develop the power of empathising with people.

 

Experience shall form the core of empathy. Unless you have experienced the situation what the other person is narrating, you can never empathize with the other person. In fact no two people shall undergo exactly the same process. So complete empathy can ever be achieved at all. But it is definitely true that all of us undergo similar situations in life if not the same exactly where in the emotions and feelings felt by us would match at least if not the situation. This is the required experience of emotions and feelings that can help us develop empathising power. Unless you haven't even experienced the emotions same as the other person in a similar situation, it shall be highly difficult for you to empatize with the other person's situation.

 

Empathy is an art to learn if you want to network with large number of people and work towards grand success. Then it becomes essential for you to get into someone else's shoes day in and day out to empathize with the other person. Hence it's important for you to explore various experiences so that you can instantly remove your shoes and slip into another person's shoes the moment s/he is narrating their story to you so that you can empathise in the best possible manner. I really empathize with the difficulty of writing a feedback with my reader as I have also been asked for feedback by many other authors. Still, I would invite my dear reader to post a comment about the blog on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

www.facebook.com/ismohanbn

www.twitter.com/ismohanbn

Free lifestyle: Free of make-ups and get-ups

The only two points in life when we least care about what others think about us are; one, when we are in our birthbed and the second when we are in our deathbed. In fact there is a famous proverb is kannada which translates into english like this- "When we came to this world we were naked and when we go back from this world we shall be naked. What you find in between these two is just darkness". This proverb is more rhyming in kannada. In spite of this clear understanding we put up a lot of get-ups and make-ups to show our untrueselves to the world outside. Reasons are many for doing so while we are losing out on the real happiness of a free lifestyle: free of get-ups and make-ups.

Someone said "eating is our choice but dressing is others' choice". This statement is so true that if you observe the people around you, you shall find that people can't wear dresses which they like or are comfortable in. They have to wear dresses that suit the customs, business etiquette, pride or to just impress someone else. Most of the times we don't throw out our opinions either because of elders' fear, embarrasment to people in higher positions, fear of law, fear of losing the liking/respect from people. We put on an artificial smile just to hide our emotions and move on with such situations. Man has completely lost the ability to sustain on one's own emotions except a few highly matured yogis or wise men(similar women included). In today's modern generation suffering from emotional turmoil, each one needs someone else to rely upon, to share the owes of life and someone to empathize and sympathize. At the end of the day life just seems to be a drama where in we just play the roles assigned by the world than being ourselves.

The reason for all these get-ups and make-ups are our desires. We would want to seep in through every possible situation only to enjoy all that we desire. Hence you will find those people who have either lived all the desires of the world or who have renounced all desires in their purest form who don't fear saying their true inert feelings and dress in a simple style called the free lifestyle: free of make-ups and get-ups which not many would like do compromise for in this modern sophisticated fashionable world. You can really feel free to feed your feedback on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

www.facebook.com/ismohanbn
www.twitter.com/ismohanbn

Empathy - an art to learn

Can you feel the same what the other person can? It's a bit difficult. I can understand. Different people have different notions and hence different emotions regarding the same incident or circumstance. However the best relationships are between people who can share and emote the same level of feelings and emotions. When water is flowing it can always flow through a level same as the previous one or at least below. It cannot rise against ascending levels except for high forces.

Let me relate the water flow example here to the levels of empathy. Empathy is all about putting oneself in the shoes of the other person and trying to feel what the other person felt. So if one can emote same level of emotions or deeper ones like that of the person who is sharing his/her experiences then sharing will continue. More the sharing, better the relationship. However if the person in front cannot feel what the other person is sharing then it feels just as a plain talk and hence the person might just stop sharing further if the person opposite cannot respond. Only in cases of extreme conditions the person might go on sharing irrespective of the opposite person's response. A single person cannot go through all the situations in this universe. We also have to remember that every situation has something to teach us. To learn and also to guide a person one must be able to feel the emotions with the same intensity as that of the other person and this is called perfect empathy.

The better a person can empathise with other people, the easier it becomes for others to share their feelings, emotions, thoughts and experiences with the person. Only when complete details are shared a good suggestion can be provided to make the situation better. People feel close to those who can understand and empathize with them better than others. So learn and master the art of empathy to have great relationships. Do let me know your views on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

www.facebook.com/ismohanbn

www.twitter.com/ismohanbn