Don't complain if you can't change it

Oftentimes not all things that are happening around and with us are always right as per our expectations. Be it with our studies or work or business or even relationships with our colleagues or classmates or family. Whenever expectations of people are not met, they start complaining or whenever things are bit easier for others than that for them, people start complaining about those. Complaining will eat away only your mental energy and time. Instead of complaining, use the same to change the situation as per your needs if you can.

 

One who can set things as per his ambitions shall strive hard and hence will be able to set some things as per his will and wish. The same is not possible by everyone because not everyone is motivated enough towards working for the kind of life that they desire to have. Let's look at a very simple example. I am sure that you would have found people complaining about how far their office or college is from their homes. They just feel jealous of all those who live nearby the office or college. Whatever wrong happens they start blaming on the distance factor and the lot of time getting wasted in travel. It's the decision of the company owner or the owner of the institution to place the office or college as per his comfort w.r.t not only distance but even business and financial factors. If you are dependent on the office or college for your work or studies better go through the travel and not complain when you have no strength to build a business of yours which you can run in your own home or can study on your own without any college support.

 

If you want to really live a life as per your own comfort, better create such a life as well by yourself. You can never expect that all things shall be made as per your expectations everywhere. People create things for their own comfort and as per their requirements and not for someone else. If you still find certain stuff created by others that can make you feel happy just be grateful to such people. You can definitely not complain but may comment about this blog on

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The struggle continues

Darwin's theory of 'Origin of Species' states one of the postulates as 'struggle for existence'. As existence continues so does struggle. Animals struggle to find the right food and shelter for protection. On the higher hand, we, humans have to struggle for everything. We need to struggle to earn money and we need to struggle on even thinking as to how we spend money. Since money is the only measuring metric of how a person can survive to lead a well-organized life we shall consider only the struggle for money here.

I am not sure if you have been through such incidents when you are compromising between money and comfort. Some people are just lucky enough to have a well-established background courtesy ancestors and parents that they needn't worry to match the ends meet. There is a part of the human population that struggles to make the ends meet on a daily basis. No earning in a day shall only mean no food for the day. Unfortunately there is even a deprived section which is still struggling to find a way to meet the ends. In between these sections there is another set of people who have to meet the ends on a monthly basis. All source back to the lack of financial back-up. This struggle keeps continuing for a long time breeding the fear of taking risks as well. Even calculated risks can be taken sometimes only if it is well known that there is a solid support back home else the struggle just continues.

There is probably not one particular solution that can solve the struggle of life. Just have a brave heart to accept the given scenario, pin your hopes strongly to convert the situation into a better one. There is no escape from this struggle. As our expectations sore higher even the level of struggle climbs up but you needn't struggle to give your feedback on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

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When it hurts, it's EGO

EGO means 'Eliminating Growing Opportunities'. We are born as human beings and probably we are the only set of species who can be hurt even without touching us. Words are the most powerful weapons than even bazookas sometimes. Probably the mythological stories which spoke of shaapas, by which any person could make the other person suffer just by uttering few words are the real proofs of the power that words have in them. Every weapon has a destination to destroy. Ego is the destination that we build in ourselves as we grow up to destroy our very own self-being.

No doubt that ego is the negative emotion that we have built in ourselves. Please don't confuse self-esteem with ego which most of them do when they say "I don't have ego but I cannot give up my self-esteem". Friends! the word 'self-esteem' in itself has the word 'self' which means it's applicable for the self only. When you respect yourself and you maintain your integrity to keep up to the respect in your own eyes for youself then you have your self-esteem guarded very well and no one can even touch it to disturb it. The moment you are hurt by a simple comment or tease or act of someone else towards you, then alarm yourself that it was not your self-esteem which got hurt but it was your ego. When you are right in your own eyes, self-esteem can't be disturbed at all but when you feel bad that other person doesn't value you as you value yourself then it's the ego that gets hurt and makes you feel bad.

I have come across a lot of irrelevant comments and ridicules about myself in the past and as experience grew I could only realise that these were logically irrelevant and I was still feeling bad about them because I had set my expectations as to how people should respect me. This was the wall of ego that I had built in myself which I completely shattered as time passed by to make sure that the destination to destroy itself didn't exist anymore. Since then any hard words just pass through my ears without even entering my heart. Destroy the wall of ego in the self because no weapon is thrown when there is no target. I don't mind asking my dear readers for feedback again and again as there is no ego to get hurt if I don't get any on www.facebook.com/ismohanbn

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Someone always raises the bar

Man used to use stone-made articles for his day-to-day necessities in the stone age. Someone found out a metal and then evolved the metallic age of using metals for all work. Similarly wheel was one such invention which completely raised the level of transportation used. Even though this evolution happened, why did it take ages to happen is a big question of concern. The existing people were complacent enough with the ongoing and spent years and generations through the same routine but someone came in with a new thought to raise the bar of living and hence there was a transition in the age itself.

In our daily life we can see so many such scenarios where certain standards are already set and people work and perform under the same standards. But there is always one new person who enters the existing scenario to push up the standards. He/she raises the bar of expectations. Automatically everyone else is forced to perform to these standards because it was just one more human being completely similar to them who made the elevation of change. No one lies to be at the sub-standards like in earlier times. Everyone wants to move up but the question is who takes the iniative and moves up to set an example for others. Students were meant to only study during school and college days but few men like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Larry Ellison, Mark Zuckerberg, Sergey Brin, Larry Page started off companies during their study time itself. Some dropped out of graduation, some continued but raised the bar of possibility of what a student can do at a young age. This is a very simple example but I am damn sure you would have noticed many such examples similar to this in your surroundings.

People often get complacent in the norm of things already set, there is always a necessity of some extraordinary person to enter the scene to break the mindset and raise the bar of thinking. The point is whether you want to be in the complacent lot or be the person who raises the bar everytime to set new standards for others to follow. Observe your own life and introspect if you are raising your level in your own eye everyday. If you don't see yourself growing on a daily basis, probably you are moving into the ordinary lot that just follows the extraordinary.

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Care for those who care for you

No beating around the bush, let me come straight to the point. Care for those who care for you. This world is filled up with seven hundred crore plus population but the world that belongs to you will be of those people who care for you only. I am not against any kind of service that should be contributed towards the society irrespective of whether we get returns out of it or not. It must be done. When the word service comes, immediately you can be very sure that you can't expect anything from the other side. Be prepared for this at the beginning itself. But when it comes to expectations between people who surround us everyday be very cautious enough to know as to how much to expect out of whom.

Our family comes the first in this regard who bestow upon us the utmost care and its your duty in return to provide the highest care for you family that supports you day in and day out. Next comes those close knit of friends who have spent sufficient time with you and a very cordial relationship exists between you and your friends. Let me reveal the bitter truth that this group of friends between whom the mutual care will be the highest probably whom you can refer as the best of the friends cannot be more than fifteen to twenty. In most of the cases it doesn't even cross single digit. When I say friends in this regard definitely I don't refer to those hundreds of friends that you have on your facebook friendlist. The next circle is that of the official arena of colleagues. You can be lucky enough to find some really genuine friends who really care for you in this set. If you find some, do care for them also. The final set of people are the so called 'just friends' or the 'hi-bye' type of friends. Sometimes some of us are so open hearted that we give our best care and concern to almost everyone who meet us. We belong to that set of fortunate children of God who can smile at anyone who comes in front of our eyes. We are those extraordinary people who can make anyone feel that they are very special to us with hundred percent genuinity. We are those amazing human beings with a lovely heart who can't stand hurting anyone even by a mere sigh. We belong to those committed individuals category who will live upto every expectation that of the other person has from us whether he/she belongs to our family or friends or just another human. Feel proud if you belong to the above fantastic set of souls on this planet.

But the cruel truth is that not all people on the earth are the same as you my dear reader. World is filled with all types of people. Some who just want to take advantage of your genuinity, some who can't tolerate your happiness quotient, some who can't see you being appreciated, some who take pleasure in just hurting you and so on. Just remember one thing - "When people falter your expectations continuously, just know that they are not going to last for long in your life". This was a learning passed on by a business giant to his relative who shared it with my mentor who taught me the same. So remember friends, whenever you are caring for someone other than the family and the best friends, be aware about how much is given back also. There's no point in showering your entire care on someone who doesn't know the value of it. Your caring for a non-deserving person is your denial of care for a more deserving person. Use your care with extreme care.

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