Responses differ at times

The most unpredictable thing on this earth is the mood of a person. You might have experienced it many times that the same friend of yours reacts in different ways for the same thing at different times. The reason is the change in mood of your friend. The teacher comes to class and scolds even the best student for no reason while the same teacher on some other day is cool with the antics of the students. Once again the mood of the teacher was responsible for this contradictory behaviour.

 

Incidents on a daily basis keep influencing our moods and emotions. The worst part is that they carry their impact on other things that later enter the daily schedule of a person. As a result, the other things face a response which is a carry-over from the earlier experience. It so happens that we are not aware about what kind of a situation that a person has undergone before we go up to him/her to share our thoughts. At such times, the imagination of the response of the person in our mind is much different that that happens in the real scenario. At such times we make a general mistake that we conclude about the character or the attitude of the person which is not completely right. All of us are humans and not hard stones. As a result our moods are bound to swing with varied experiences across a day. So, whenever the response from a person is different from what we expected because of the wrong mood, instead of getting disappointed we should give some time or soothening words to the person to come back to the normal state and then re-narrate our words.

 

Not just humans, even non-living things respond differently under different circumstances. A very simple example is that of an iron rod which gets bent very easily when heated but is strong as a rock when cold and unbreakable. Understand the situation of a person before evaluating his/her response or attitude. You can feel free to share your feedback on is.mohanbn@gmail.com
www.facebook.com/ismohanbn
www.twitter.com/ismohanbn

Let me give an example

You would have heard this phrase a million times till now. To explain any particular concept, everyone tends to use an example to assist the authenticity of their concept. We see that examples exist even in our text books to prove the theory mentioned previously. Each one's life is an example to someone else. My only question is, how many times do we actually give or get the right examples?

 

First of all, let's see what is the necessity of giving an example. Whenever something explained to us, we may not understand it to an extent to which it has been explained. Let me give an example for this. When someone says that s/he has headache, you/I might just understand the existence of pain but we will not be able to understand the extent of the pain. When the same person gives an example that he is feeling the pain which happens when someone is hammering your head continuously, immediately we understand that the amount of pain is too much to sustain. Examples emphasize the depth of the concepts and situations. They help in better understanding and learning. Examples work as similes. Our brain can remember things by correlation. Hence every concept associated with an example is easy to remember and reproduce.

 

However, giving example is also a skill is what I believe. Unrelated examples completely take away the integrity of our understanding itself. One can give more examples only if one has read a lot, travelled a lot, met a lot of people and experienced a lot. Only when you can explain a simple concept by giving multiple examples do you become a great teacher and can spread your knowledge to a large mass of audience. Please feel free to share your feedback on is.mohanbn@gmail.com
www.facebook.com/ismohanbn
www.twitter.com/ismohanbn

Experience to empathize

In one of my previous blogs I had spoken about empathy. Empathy is a very important quality that one should have to understand others emotions and feelings. You can check more about its importance in the following link http://mohanbn.blogspot.in/2012/12/empathy-art-to-learn.html. However here I would like to touch upon the topic about how to develop the power of empathising with people.

 

Experience shall form the core of empathy. Unless you have experienced the situation what the other person is narrating, you can never empathize with the other person. In fact no two people shall undergo exactly the same process. So complete empathy can ever be achieved at all. But it is definitely true that all of us undergo similar situations in life if not the same exactly where in the emotions and feelings felt by us would match at least if not the situation. This is the required experience of emotions and feelings that can help us develop empathising power. Unless you haven't even experienced the emotions same as the other person in a similar situation, it shall be highly difficult for you to empatize with the other person's situation.

 

Empathy is an art to learn if you want to network with large number of people and work towards grand success. Then it becomes essential for you to get into someone else's shoes day in and day out to empathize with the other person. Hence it's important for you to explore various experiences so that you can instantly remove your shoes and slip into another person's shoes the moment s/he is narrating their story to you so that you can empathise in the best possible manner. I really empathize with the difficulty of writing a feedback with my reader as I have also been asked for feedback by many other authors. Still, I would invite my dear reader to post a comment about the blog on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

www.facebook.com/ismohanbn

www.twitter.com/ismohanbn

Empathy - an art to learn

Can you feel the same what the other person can? It's a bit difficult. I can understand. Different people have different notions and hence different emotions regarding the same incident or circumstance. However the best relationships are between people who can share and emote the same level of feelings and emotions. When water is flowing it can always flow through a level same as the previous one or at least below. It cannot rise against ascending levels except for high forces.

Let me relate the water flow example here to the levels of empathy. Empathy is all about putting oneself in the shoes of the other person and trying to feel what the other person felt. So if one can emote same level of emotions or deeper ones like that of the person who is sharing his/her experiences then sharing will continue. More the sharing, better the relationship. However if the person in front cannot feel what the other person is sharing then it feels just as a plain talk and hence the person might just stop sharing further if the person opposite cannot respond. Only in cases of extreme conditions the person might go on sharing irrespective of the opposite person's response. A single person cannot go through all the situations in this universe. We also have to remember that every situation has something to teach us. To learn and also to guide a person one must be able to feel the emotions with the same intensity as that of the other person and this is called perfect empathy.

The better a person can empathise with other people, the easier it becomes for others to share their feelings, emotions, thoughts and experiences with the person. Only when complete details are shared a good suggestion can be provided to make the situation better. People feel close to those who can understand and empathize with them better than others. So learn and master the art of empathy to have great relationships. Do let me know your views on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

www.facebook.com/ismohanbn

www.twitter.com/ismohanbn

Have an opinion

I was reading the starting few pages of a text book and found that there was a special note to teachers to make the learning more learner-oriented by making it interactive and participative. In order to execute the same I was asking Yes/No type of questions in class for which I expected answers which would be too simple. Somehow not all participated in answering these. Some students remained silent without taking any of the two options with a resort to 'I don't know'. Probably they weren't sure about their answers and hence deferred from participating even in throwing forward a viewpoint. That's when I felt that each person should put forward an opinion irrespective of how sure his/her perception is right about it.

 

Not everyone is aware of all the things that are happening around. However the corollary doesn't hold the same because everything that's happening around influences each one of us directly or indirectly no matter how ignorant we are about them. Butterfly Effect phenomenon is one of the simple examples to prove that whatever happens on this earth influences all of us for sure. So when everything around is controlling you, it's your right to have a note of all the happenings around you. Not just having a note but also to have an opinion of the same so that you can correct it and improve the situation. On the other hand, even if you are wrong, learn from the learned people the right perception which will elevate your level of growth. Whether your opinion is right or wrong there is advantage on both the ends. God has blessed each one of us with a logical bent of mind which can analyse any situation to our level of maturity with the knowledge of our past experience and exposure. With these prerequisites anyone can calculate for himself to be diligent enough to evaluate the situation of high prominence. Once this can be done, one can arrive at an opinion and not be the person who doesn't have any idea as to what to think.

"Mounam sammathi lakshanam" is one of the famous phrases in regional languages. It means that whenever a person is silent when asked for his/her opinion then it means that he/she has agreed with the same opinion as that of the questioner. Since many of us keep quiet without raising our voices, those few who have an opinion only in the interest of politics convert our silence into their votes. As a result today there is so much of corruption and mismanagement. So it becomes highly essential for each one of us to have at least a simple opinion so that many such frauds can be avoided. It doesn't matter whether you are right or wrong as long as you share your opinion. Do share your opinion on is.mohanbn@gmail.com,

www.facebook.com/ismohanbn

www.twitter.com/ismohanbn

If you were your idol

I believe that each one of us have someone or the other as our idol either consciously or subconsciously. I hope my belief is true as well. I am also sure that we would dream to reach the heights what our idols have reached and achieve the wisdom that they possess. But we cannot get to know the day to day activities of our idols and the way they handle them. So how do we become a replica of our idols which we envision to be?

This was one of the practical experiences that I had very recently based on which I am sharing the idea with my dear readers in this blog of mine. Just few days back I was engaged in a work for just 5 minutes of taking few photos. I captured them on my S3 and a thought came in mind to ask for a review but left assuming I have done the job right. Within 2 minutes I got to know that I was supposed to take another photo as well. So I had to redo the work. The very same day I had to get the same photos printed but unfortunately my pen drive was infected with virus when I reached the shop. I had to travel back once again home to mail the photos to be printed. Once again there was a redo of work. I was totally frustrated with the day and couldn't get back my enthusiasm at all and that is when I thought about what would my idol do in a similar situation.

My idol would have definitely spared a minute to get a review on photos before leaving the place. My idol would have had a plan B for getting the print outs by sending out a mail as well along with the pen drive. Even if these two weren't done my idol would have accepted the human instinct to error and would definitely complete the work like I did and be happy that the necessary lessons were learnt. So just think as to what your idol would have done in the same difficult situation as you are in and you will automatically be able to handle any kind of challenges. So, if your idol was reading this blog what feedback would s/he give on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

www.facebook.com/ismohanbn

www.twitter.com/ismohanbn

Whom To Blame?

Accidents are common incidents in today's busy and urgent lifestyle scenarios. Sometimes its hard to distinguish between accidents and coincidents also. Whenever good happens there is seldom a search for the reason for that goodness that happened. In fact there is a wide claim that spreads among all present in the situation to be responsible in their own ways for the good that happened. But when something turns out to be bad, fingers start raising and pointing in all directions apart from the reverse direction. So whom to blame in such circumstances?

I am very sure that you would have witnessed many scenarios where in two individuals end up in a conflict either by oversight or sheer negligence from both the ends. If you are a viewer in any of such cases your logical mind can easily contemplate as to how the conflict could have been avoided with just few small precautions from either of the sides and the complete problem would have been in void. In most of such cases you would have seen that both the parties in conflict would be blaming one another until their energy and the angry emotions lose strength. Probably there are very few instances where either of the parties or both understand the entropy of the accident and smile away back. If at all there is a hurt caused on any one of them, more focus would be diverted to heal the hurt than to fight over it as to who was the real reason for it when sane minds are involved.

The above paragraph was just a simple common everyday example. If you can view at a global level you can see that the same scenario exists everywhere. People with power blame that others don't listen to them while the others feel that people with power aren't using it properly. Both are just blaming each other. The only solution to avoid this blaming game is by cooperation between both the parties to achieve the defined objectives. Remember friends! blame is not a game it's a shame.
You are welcome to share your feedback on is.mohanbn@gmail.com
www.facebook.com/Mohan.B.Nagesh
www.twitter.com/ISmohanbn

What is more precious than time?

This was the question on which I had pondered over time and again. Time is one thing which is completely not under our control. By the time you read these sentences probably five seconds have gone by. Everyone of us know it very clearly that our time on this earth is limited. No one has ever lived on forever. Inspite of knowing this truth we waste the precious time that's blessed upon us. I just feel that Shiv Khera is coming to slap me to remind how time is very important when he writes in his book 'You Can Sell' that it doesn't require a master degree to understand that time is precious enough not to be wasted. I don't have to say anything beyond this to emphasize the value of time. Then what is the answer for the question in the title of the blog?

The answer is your mental energy. We humans possess different kinds of energies such as physical energy, mental energy, spiritual energy and emotional energy. Here I would like to touch the topic of only mental energy because that is the one which keeps working continuously non-stop. The human mind can never stop thinking. Thoughts keep jumping from one nerve to the other continuously. Probably you are imaging the picture of the brain while reading this. That fast is the power of our mental energy. No doubt that in our daily life we come across challenging situations. Some might see them as irritating scenarios as well. The moment you take something as a challenge your mental energy works to find solutions but if you view it from the negative perspective your mental energy gets wasted in thinking about why it happened only to you, why is it so worse and so on. For example, I was just observing the people in a cab while leaving the office. There was a delay of two mintues since all cabs came to the exit at the same time and people started scolding the situation. Further the driver took a wrong route by mistake due to which the cab was held up in a signal for two extra minutes and people in the cab were pissed off. Guys come on! mistakes keep happening. Lets really worry when the mistake is big enough to make a huge impact. If its a small one which won't affect you and which will get resolved within few minutes then why the hell do you have to worry about it so much. Calm down people. These petty things are too tiny to seek the attention of our precious mental energy which can think and plan about big inventions and discoveries. Let's not heed to these unnecessary tensions.

Your mental energy should be focused on thinking positive things that can help your development and the same of the world. Probably even if you waste time playing or relaxing a bit extra you can catch up by using your mental energy in the highest efficient state possible to cover up for the lost time but on the other hand if you waste your mental energy on unnecessary silly things the trauma of it just continues to spoil the mental energy and time further. In a way you lose both mental energy and time. So program your mind in such a way that it doesn't respond to small minor distractions or distrubances rather is more focused towards your goals and dreams.
You can share your valuable feedback on is.mohanbn@gmail.com
www.facebook.com/Mohan.B.Nagesh
www.twitter.com/ISmohanbn

Will you relive your life once again?

Hi folks! First of all I would like to apologise for not being able to update a blog yesterday itself as I had promised earlier that I would be writing a blog a day. 'If you miss a lunch you are entitled for a grand dinner' is a saying as per which I will be posting 2 blogs today. Let me kick off with the first one.

Now that you have read the title of the blog "Will you relive your life once again?", you might be guessing what this blog may be about or wondering to know why I ask this question. This question came up on my mind based to back to back experiences that I had very recently. Day before yesterday while I wrote the blog on the Rabbit and Tortoise story, it so happened that I had completed the blog and clicked on PUBLISH POST. At that time the autosave got interrupted and all of a sudden the login screen came back. I went to the previous page only for my 30 minutes of writing not to be seen. I tried to go through drafts but in vain. Unfortunately I was too sick to sit for that 30 mins itself. I had just felt the nerve of relief when I had written the last line of the blog and all of a sudden it had vanished in air. Now the choice was either to yield to the uneasiness and pain of rewriting the entire blog again  and quit or to withstand the pain and recompose the blog to keep up my vow of ABAD for march month. I felt the second one pushing me more than the first one pulling me back. Hence I went ahead and rewrote the entire blog and published it.

The 2nd incidence was today in office. I was supposed to prepare an excel sheet document and send it to my manager quickly about datamodel changes in JDE world A9.3. It took about 15 minutes to collect all the relevant information and update the excel sheet in a neat format. Once again the situation repeated itself. I accidentally closed the excel document before saving my changes. Man!!!!!! I told myself and reopened the closed document to check if I was fortunate enough not to have lost the changes made. But mistake is a mistake and cant be undone. All the changes were gone. Once again, efforts and time had to be spent for rework. The choice now was either to go through the tedious process again and mail it to my manager or give it up to let the other colleagues follow through. I felt a strange sense of ownership of work which told me it wont take much time for the rework, lets do it! I agreed to this philosphy and finished the work.

After these 2 incidents, I just asked my mind would we people really be willing to do the same work all over again if for some unfortunate reason it gets washed away. Would we be willing to spend our time and efforts on rework again and again? Would J.K.Rowling have written the entire book of Harry Potter once again if for some reason her original manuscripts were lost or burnt? My mind added more complexity to this situation by asking me back whether we would choose to do the same activities today which we had completed yesterday with lot of sweat just because we lost the proof of completion of yesterday's work. Adding more what would we have chosen if we had a choice either to relive all our yesterday, days before yesterday,  weeks before yesterweek, months before yestermonth, years before yesteryear  again for accomplishment of something or just move forward from the present life.

In my opinion I just feel the reason or the purpose holds the highest strength to push us to redo the rework. If that is not strong or important enough for us, we might choose of not doing it again. This might vary from person to person, from situation to situation. Question is - who is stronger? Person or the situation? This is an open ended writing of mine. Friends! I would like to know what are your views on this. Please dont miss to add your opinion in the below comments section. I am damn sure that you value your opinion which you can share on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

www.facebook.com/ismohanbn

www.twitter.com/ismohanbn

STUDENT

During the student life its possible to engender whatever one wants to in his field of interest. All the students have got the ability to enhance their performance with time. It is just that one needs to realize this. Though the juvenile age is ephemeral, a person remains a student forever in life. Equanimity is one of the distinct qualities of a student that can help him in difficult tasks. A good student should never try to equivocate his mistakes but must be open to constructive criticism. Erudition cannot be achieved without hardwork. Some of the esoteric concepts cannot be understood unless there is complete dedication. There are many instances that can exacerbate the calmness of the situation.

 

A student must be ready to face all these situations in life. If ever he is blamed by mistake he should be capable of exculpating himself from the situation. He should be ready for all kinds of exigency and face them with boldness. The extrapolation of the student life is nothing but the job one takes up. A student life should also be filled with fun for which a facetious freind like me will be very useful. Our parents try to facilitate us with the best they can give for all our experiments in life. A student should be grateful to his parents than giving fallacious reasons for his failures in his tasks. It would be fatuous of a student to underestimate his teachers. A student should not try to fawn someone just because he can get something done by the other person. He should be felicitous in whatever he says which will reflect the fervor in his talk else his words will flag off in the ambient noise.

My dear guest reader, you can send your feedback on
is.mohanbn@gmail.com

http://www.facebook.com/ismohanbn

http://twitter.com/ismohanbn