The blame game

Once upon a time in a village was a farmer who had a goat. He used to take the goat to the farm everyday and tie to a nearby tree and go for his work. One fine day it so happened that the farmer tied the goat to the same tree and went for his work. He had also placed his lunch box near the tree. There was a monkey on the same tree which had observed this routine from a long time. Once the farmer had left from there it went down and took the lunch box. It ate all the curd rice that was in the box. Since the goat was tied to the tree it couldn't help to avoid the monkey from taking the box. After eating the monkey smeared some of the curdrice to the mouth of the goat and went back on the tree top. When the farmer came back he saw that the box was empty and the bits of curdrice on the goat's mouth. He assumed that the goat had eaten the lunch and punished it.

Probably some of you might have listened to this story earlier. The wicked monkey put the blame of its theft on the poor goat by which it ended up on the receiving end of the farmer's rage. I am sure that you might be thinking back those incidents when you were in the place of the scape-goat due to a similar blame-game. In today's busy world everyone is so much engulped in work that twenty fours of a day are insufficient for any person to complete all the work that is assigned to him/her. At the same time one doesn't want to reject the work that comes towards him/her inspite of shortage of resources because every new work is regarded as new opportunities for growth. But when it comes to the failure in performing the work not everyone is ready to accept the responsibility for the same. That is when starts the game of excuses and the blame game. Obviously no one wants to be at the receiving end of the wrath of the authorities. Probably the fear of this is what drives one to enter the blame game. Its a vicious circle which once entered just doesn't allow you to come out of. The blame game continues until the last person doesn't find the next shoulder to transfer the blame on. All I feel is that it just takes away major chunk of your precious time of life.

No wonder that its an impulse to blame that is difficult to avoid sometimes. If you ever blame you don't have to take it too much into heart and feel guilty if you decide to correct the situation. Just explain to the team and person as to why you think so and apologise if the other person felt offended. Plan immediately as to how all of you can collectively get together to solve the pending tasks. Ever if you are on the receiving end of the blame don't allow your anger to block your mind. Just keep your smile on and do the same task of planning to complete the work. This itself will make the other person to take back the blame. At the end of our lives neither will we remember the blame we got or whom we blamed. Lets have sweet memories to cherish forever.
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Maintain distance

The world is in itself a family and all of us belong to that. All of us have to gel with each other and cooperate to make the world a happy place to dwell in. Humans should not allow their ego to come in between relationships and make the best use of different talents of different people to yield the best positive results to the team. Every moment of our life we keep interacting with one or the other person either directly or indirectly as man is a social being. During these interactions our relationship grows to different extents with different people. So what is the extent to which another person can interact with us or to what extent can we take the other person for granted is dependent on the distance that's maintained between us.

In case of a stranger, the distance is just infinite because neither you nor the stranger interact with each other. In case of parents or spouse, I feel its the shortest distance that can be maintained in life which tends to zero. In case of relatives, friends and colleagues this distance between you and them takes different sizes. Its very important for us to understand that we can't be close to everyone like that of a family. So there should be some extent of limitation for any kind of relationship outside family. Neither can you take anyone for granted nor should you allow anyone to take you for granted. Always keep your mind clear enough to recognise when either of you are crossing the boundaries. In case of any relationship it is necessary for you to clearly understand what is the respect and dignity that needs to be exchanged between the two of you. Sometimes either we get too harsh to enter the personal space of someone else or on the other hand we become too modest to allow the other person to intrude into our personal space. Just make sure that you alert yourself when you get into any of these scenarios. If its the first case, please don't have the ego to apologise to the other person for stepping a bit extra and if its the second case, inform the other person in gentle words that he/she is crossing his/her limits. Else the relationship is going to ruin one step ahead for sure.

I wanted to narrate some personal experiences in this blog but have avoided it only because my reader shouldn't get influenced by them. Everyone has self-respect and love for one's own interests in this world. At anytime a comment on it by an outsider always hurts. I feel in this world people are killed more by words rather than bombs or swords or guns. Let's spread smile and sweet feelings all around us by maintaining proper distance. Please feel free to share your feedback on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

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