Not everyone is you

In the tight race of making many things happen it becomes quite difficult for everyone to play the role like everyone else. Each one shall follow a style of one's own in a speed of one's own. Everyone needs some space to pitch in one's own performance. Unfortunately not all kinds of work are individual-centric. Lots of tasks are dependent on more than one individual. That is where coordination and coherent speed of working need to be maintained to accomplish the results. While doing so, due the slowness of few people the entire team shall follow a slow process. No one can blame the other because it's all team efforts. All that you need to know is that not everyone is you, not everyone is like you.

God has bestowed each human being with some or the other talent. Each one of us go through or each one of us is waiting to find that Eureka moment when we discover our passion. It takes quite some time for all of us to discover our true passions. It's not just God alone who decides your talent. The environment you grow up in and the influences that you undergo during childhood also matter in moulding your talents and skill-sets. This being the case, one must not hurry on concluding someone else's capacity. One must always have the God's advocate eye to search for positive stuff in the most adverse situations. One must be able to recognise the true strength in the person standing opposite him. A fish can win a swimming race but never a running race. Likewise the moment you have spotted strength in a person in your team, make sure that he gets only those kinds of opportunities where his strength gets utilized the most. This shall empower him as a great leader. A leader must stop expecting that even the people working around him should have the same calibre and deliver the same results. God has never produced clones on this planet. So, no matter what, two people cannot work the same way at all points of time. Hence a leader must know that not everyone can be him, and guide accordingly. The moment there are expectations out of people to perform the same way like that of yours, they shall only shatter and bring more sorrow and lesser progress for the team.

A budding leader also looks up to his leader/mentor and it is natural for a budding star to imagine being a leader someday later. It takes committed hard work to reach a significant leadership position. Never ending efforts are indispensable while working to become a strong leader. When you are growing you must close your eyes and ears for any sort of stuff wherein you're pitched against the notably strong people. You need to remember that everyone cannot be like you and you cannot be like your leader at one shot. Treat people as they are than treating them for the way you desire them to be. None can ever be like you.

The world around was still the same

Tough phases are bound to be a part of everyone's lives. Likewise are the good phases. You never know what phase is the person sitting right next to you in the bus is going through. You never know if her eyes were red because she was crying unable to let out her tears or was it the mistake of the kajal that made her eyes go red. You never know if he was sleepy or was it the pressure of disappointment that made the blood rush through the veins in those white eyes. Phases are a part of everyone's lives but none show them to the world around. When the phase is going on the person has no idea of what's happening around in the world. The moment one is out of it and comes into realization of the world around, what s/he sees is quite astonishing. The world around is running the same way like before completely deaf and blind to the kind of phase one has just gone through. This is the real truth of this world.

Different phases of life make us go through different feelings and emotions. Some can be expressed in front of others while some can't be. In fact, differentiating between happy or tough or learning phases is also very difficult and the distinction is solely decided and felt only by the individual going through the phases. People in the world around might have gone through the same phases but yet might be completely helpless to empathize with the person. As a result, the individual is left all alone to go through the phase and grow through it. None is spared from these tests of life. It's a lonely battle out there. Everyone is involved in such lonely battles in their own respective lives while none of such battles are exposed to each other. The moment we are out of our homes to face the world, we get back to our normal selves who seem to be carrying on with life just like how it was before. The lips widen to smile big and the speed catches the legs to not miss the bus to office. We become the same part of the world which seems completely unchanged for a person who has just got out of the toughest phase of his/her life. All of us do know it very clearly that humans are mortal. All of us might have born to different parents but the mankind is one single community. Animals or machines might be unable to understand about your phases but other human beings definitely can. Yet we don't share with the world what's happening in our lives. Reasons are many because, at the end of the day, all of us are just humans, neither animals nor machines.

The moment we are unable to get the expected responses from the world around, we start blaming the entire world and make generic statements that the world is cruel, bad and sad. All that you see in the world is what is occupying your mind at that current state of mind. When you're happy everything that's colourful and bright in the world catches your eyes. When you're hurt only resentment and discouraging statements fall into your ears. When you are completely clear without any expectations or anticipations coming out just after a tough phase the world reflects the same. It doesn't show any expectation out of you and is completely unaware of the kind of anticipations that you shall make out of it. I saw the same as I came out of one of the challenging phases of my life, the world around was still the same.

People are different so are their definitions

I am damn sure that you would have heard people saying 'according to me', ' my definition of ___ is' and so on. I always keep wondering when I hear such statements as to why the dictionaries exist at all. Oxford, Longman and many others have struggled to build such wonderful collection of words and their meanings. I just feel sorry for them when people come up with their own definitions and meanings for the most common words.

People are different and so are their definitions. I purposefully wanted to touch upon this topic because I have been involved in many situations of conflict of definitions. Anyways I can't blame anyone of having their own definitions because everyone evolves one's own definitions based on the environment and the experiences of life. Since no two people have the same graph of life no two people can be expected to have the same definitions and that is where the conflicts start arising. No point in blaming on the differences as they exist by default. We should at least concentrate on avoiding conflicts further by trying to understand the definitions of others. Now one might feel that only his/her own definitions are correct and need not adjust to that of the others. I so agree with you because I also feel the same but  do you remember our previous blog 'Feel, felt, found'?

In order to avoid conflict first learn about the definition of the other person. Then analyse if the same definition suits you as well. If yes then there's no conflict, if not then analyse the other person's definition. If the relationship with this person really matters to you then you may go ahead and discuss to arrive at a common definition, else you might just ignore as long as there is no conflict. Please share your definition of feedback on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

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No need to convince all

Every new idea is first ignored, ridiculed and then accepted. There is not even a single philosophy in the world which has been accepted and followed by all 700 crore plus population on this earth. In fact there is a rule itself which says "Every rule has an exception". There
is not even a single system of governance which has been implemented by all countries/states. Still the world runs fine.

There has been a big invisible barrier on the innovative mind that blocks it to think further the moment it sees rejection of its thoughts by a few people around. Everyone on this planet has the best ideas to make this world a better place. Unfortunately all do not have the same ideas and even if some set of people have the same ideas, they are in different parts of the world unknown to each other. In such a scenario, clashes and arguments are bound to happen among people of different schools of thought and no doubt that these will filter out the best ideas for our future. Its a pity to see that today's youth has been pampered so much with all their wishes that a simple rejection of their thought or idea hurts them badly. Hence they are hiding all the information and ideas within themselves with the fear of being unable to convince everyone who doubt their thoughts. Friends! you have to accept that you will be unable to convince all because some won't accept the same what you accept either out of difference of opinions or ego or plain ignorance.

You are born on this earth to convey and pass on a message that you are convinced about that will do good to the world. Like death is a sure fact that we have accepted, accept that rejection of your ideas is also a normal sure-shot fact. You don't have to argue with anyone to convince them and make them accept your point. Keep informing everyone about your idea. Some will reject, some will ignore, some will ridicule while there will be a set of people who will accept your idea. Keep building this circle of acceptance by spreading your idea among lot of people and simultaneously keep implementing your idea as well. Some years down the lane, you need not speak of your idea, the work itself will stand as a proof and convince everyone.

Shed your inhibitions and share your thoughts on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

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