What will others think about me?

"Sabse bada rog, kya kahenge log". This is a transliteration of a Hindi statement which means that the biggest disease is 'what will others say?". It inertly indicates the worry about what others will say about me. I had always thought that this was a very simple and well-known topic and hence not necessary for me to address. But I find that each one I come across is suffering from this disease and sometimes even I tend to forget this saying. The best reinforcement is by sharing.

 

Man is a social animal. As a result of all other homo-sapiens surrounding us we are answerable to lot of them for our words and actions. The worst part is when we need to even answer the strangers about things completely unrelated to them. So many people suffer from the pain of worrying as to what the other person might be thinking and saying about them. This worry doesn't have any logical reasoning because it is just made up in one's own mind by a mere assumption without any confirmation from the other person whether s/he actually is thinking about him/her in the way s/he imagined. The person is really not sure if the other person spoke the way s/he has imagined him/her to have spoken. We interpret gestures with different meanings at such worry times and reaffirm our nonsensical made-up thoughts to deepen the pain further. If it really mattered to both about what the other person thought or said about you, s/he will share it with you directly and the matter can be resolved. If the other person has not spoken to you directly about what s/he is thinking or saying about you then it's none of your business to worry about that.

 

"An idle mind is devil's workshop" was a previous slogan. Today's slogan is 'an idle mind is devil's paradise'. All these thoughts about other people come to our mind only when it is not generating thoughts about our work. So either there is a scarcity of work or goals. So the moment you think about what others will say or think about you, you can be sure that you have to once again revise and reinforce your goals. I hope you liked this blog. If so, pour in your valuable feedback on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

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Thank you Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam sir

Narration of any experience is so very important so that those not involved in the experience also are made aware of the experience. Similarly valuable lessons for life need to be constructed into words so that many can learn easily just by reading these words. There are so many quotes and I thank all the originators of the quotes for bringing feelings, emotions and lessons from life's experiences into verbal form. One such orginator whom I specially thank is Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam sir for his amazing statement "Dreams are not those which you see during sleep, dreams are those which don't let you sleep".

In one of the conversations today with one of my best friends about the topic of waking up early in the morning I was just reminded of how I used to question everyone about this topic sometime ago. I couldn't wake up early in the morning earlier and used to ask everyone about how I could accomplish it. But today I wake up at 4:30A.M early in the morning to get ready to go to the gym. Bodybuilding is a passion that I have taken up seriously now and have completely altered my daily schedule to meet my requirements to wake up early in the morning to go to the gym. Working out in a gym to have a fit body was one of my dreams for which I am working today. This dream has gone so deep into the subconscious of mine that even on those nights when I sleep late, still my mind wakes me up at 4:30 A.M the next morning. This experience of mine coincided perfectly well with the statement of Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam sir. Similar experiences had happened while I used to study for my exams in my school and college days. The dream of topping the exams wouldn't allow me to sleep. Probably I couldn't explain this to anyone in words as it just happened whenever necessary. Hence I thank our ex-president for framing this into a fantastic sentence which can be a guideline to lot others devoid of this experience.

Sometimes we learn from our own experience, sometimes based on the advice of others. Great men have lived their years of lives learning the most solid lessons for a successful life and have penned them down onto paper in the form of quotes and books. My sincere advice to all my dear readers would be to have no doubt on any statement made by great men and just follow them modulated to your current lifestyle to take the maximum advantage of the years of life of experiments and results lived by these men.

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Listen to what you talk

Thanks to the Almighty who has blessed humans with wonderful sense organs and also has given the right usage to each one of them. Even animals have tongue but they can't use it to talk like us. Barring a few exceptions of people with special abilities most of us are lucky enough to have this wonderful ability to talk and communicate with ourselves and with others. We keep talking the whole day with our family, relatives, friends, colleagues and sometimes strangers as well. Sometimes we chatter even while sleeping and indeed its fun to watch those who do this. There is a famous saying that our thoughts become our words and our words become our actions. Probably its too difficult to control our thoughts but my question is can we control what we talk?

We chat about innumerable topics and gossips, we talk about cinema, politics, religions, opinions, sports and trillion of other topics. Most of the times our thoughts just get converted into words and flow out of our mouth. There is no check in between whether what we are talking is going to make some sense or not. Also our ears are not placed in front of our mouth, they are placed on either sides of it far from it. Seldom our ears actually listen to what we say. They are more inclined towards listening to what the others have to say. Even physically its tough to bring your ears near your mouth. I was just thinking, had it been the case somehow that our ears would have been the first to listen to whatever we spoke then this world would have been rid of half of the talk pollution that exists now. The ability to talk is called in Sanskrit as 'Waakchhakthi'. I probably couldn't write in sanskrit here. 'Waak' means to talk, 'shakthi' means power, both combine to give the word 'Waakchhakthi' which means the Power to Talk. In the autobiography of Mahatma Gandhiji, he explains how he used this power of talking so well that his silence and his words were both equally powerful enough to help him become powerful to lead huge masses. Even Rajnikanth explains that when you're silent, people wait to listen to you talking and when you talk they give their full concentration. Also the weightage to the words of a guy who speaks less is more than that for others who keep blabbering always. Use your power to talk wisely.

Feedback loop is one of the best ways to drive ourselves towards perfection. I suggest you to listen to what you talk. Pay complete attention to what you're saying, record it and play it again in your mind and try if you can find a better way of saying the same. This will not only improve your efficiency but will also fill the necessary power into your words. When you analyse what you want to speak, you will definitely convey more in less words. This will strengthen your mental ability as well. Silence has power, control yourself from blabbering unnecessary speeches because people characterize you by the way you speak. Don't allow yourself to become a chatterox, listen to yourself- what you talk to others and what you talk to yourself in your mind. Filter off the junk and produce the required right combination. Lets utilize Waakchhakthi - the power to talk in the best way possible.

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