When I went back to school

It's been more than a decade that I have passed out of school now. Courtesy my work, I get a chance every day to go back to schools and relive those childhood memories. No doubt that the syllabi have changed, teachers are aged, schools have got additional protection grills but the children and their joy are the same. Thanks to schools which don't allow these young kids to get electronic gadgets to schools. That gives them ample opportunity to behave as living human beings with their counterparts. I enjoy observing kids below 4th grade. With all the information floating on internet and other media channels, kids are growing up and are more mature to understand the worldly affairs at a much earlier age nowadays. Such kids start behaving more or less like elders which is not so enjoyable to watch.

I recall those moments when kids enjoy speed. They want to be the fastest like superman. The moment they are out of class they run at Usain Bolt's speed to the restroom. I don't know what happens so magical over there. The moment they have to come back to their classroom the speed decreases exponentially. It looks like as if these kids are trying to compete with tortoise or a snail to win 'Who is the slowest?' competition. Somehow, struggling to allow one foot go before the other, they reach the classroom but something unexpected happens when they are just two feet away from the classroom door. All the speed lost seems to come back with the best pace and they start panting at the door as if they have just completed a 100 metres sprint. The teacher is so amazed to see such kids who showcase that they don't want to miss even a second of class. Unfortunately, the teacher doesn't know the episode before panting. May she never know it! It is surprising to notice how kids pick up such interesting talents. One more remarkable angle of a child is that s/he doesn't care who you are, what's your background, what's your colour, why have you come to the school or any other aspect of your presence in front of him/her. The moment you smile the child smiles back at you. The moment you ask a question the kid is ready with instant answers. All that the kids want in life at that age is to be happy and do things that come to their mind without thinking about any pros or cons. They are unaware about any time tables or schedules. All that they know is, eat when you are hungry, play when you have friends around and sleep when you are tired. They are devoid of all tensions of this world. That void is filled up with loads of happiness and joy on their faces. The same transcends on our faces when we are in front of them. Hence everyone cherishes those moments when they are with kids and conversing with them.

Definitely I am not saying that there are no other ways of being happy. There might be a million other ways but I love this way for sure. I am sure that a lot of you also forget all your sadness and gather the entire happiness of the world in a child's smile. Each one of us should make it a point to keep aside a few hours in a week or a month just to visit schools and observe those young minds playing the simplest game, but yet enjoying the entertainment that no playbox can provide at the most economic costs. It's a wonderful feeling to wish them good-bye as they take their tiny tots with little school bags on their backs eagerly looking forward to meet their parents after a 6 hour long separation. On the way back home switches on the school radio when the kids narrate all that happened in the school with their parents. It's a fascination to witness how the same situation that happened in school is explained with different voice modulation and perspective angles by different kids. Even better to note is the speciality of these kids who forget all the bad things that happened right that night itself and only carry forward the happy moments of the day.

Will you depend on your children during old age?

This is the question that I want to ask the youth today. Being in the profession that I am, I get every occasion to interact with a variety of people from different age groups, different backgrounds, different professions, different qualifications and other diversities. Often are the conversations which involve a lot of complaints. While the elders are busy blaming the youngsters, vice-versa is also equally true. In order to bridge this gap called the generation gap, we, mentors aim to resolve such conflicts and help the youth realise the kind of sacrifices that the parents have done for their sake. We motivate the youth to work towards fulfilling the dreams of their parents, as well as, that of themselves. We definitely guide them to take care of their parents during their old age and not be like those disloyal children who put their parents in the old age homes when they grow old. We guide the same youth to be independent and not to depend on anyone but themselves during every phase of life. That's where this question struck my mind.

In the age old days, during the reigns of kings and queens, life was divided into 4 phases. The final phase was called the Vanaprasthashrama. This was the time when the couple would be old enough not to carry out the functions of the kingdom or business, by which time their sons or daughters would have got settled in their families with kids and be working to take care of their individual families. The old couple used to handover all the responsibilities of the kingdom or the business in the hands of their children and move to forest to spend the latter years left in their life in peace and tranquility of the forest performing meditation and penances. There was no question of old age homes at those times as the old parents themselves willingly moved away into the forest. There was no coaching for children to take care of their parents until their demise. Children were only coached to respect parents and serve them well. As a person grows in life building his career and life with his life partner and kids, he cannot be expected to give the same attention to his parents which he could give while he was still single and yet to settle in his life. As years passed, parents had only the motto of guiding their children up to the point where they could take care of their individual families and career. Parents would only yearn for the times that they could play with their grandchildren and would never expect their children to take care of them, and hence save sufficient wealth which would take care of them till the sunset in their lives while they handed over the rest in the hands of their children. Once these two desires were fulfilled they would proceed to Vanaprasthashrama without any worries.

Off late, the parents of the modern century have forgotten about such ways of life. They don't even know the meaning of Vanaprasthashrama. Unfortunately, they can't even go and settle in forests with the present government rules and regulations of protecting the green belt of the earth. In the modern world, family love and care are being considered as give and take business. Since your parents took care of you when you were a child, you need to take care of them when they get old. This is one of the classic statements used. Let's think logical; taking care of a child and taking care of old people; can both of them be the same? Impossible! There's a huge amount of difference in every aspect. The younger couples have to take care of their parents amidst nagging spouses, crying children, job/business tensions, personal health issues, rising inflation and every other factor. It's not as easy as you take care of a child when it's born during which the couple is also young and energetic, just at the beginning of their careers and parents still working few years away from retirement and guiding the young couple at every step, and being the backbone during times of emergency. As parents, they educate their kids to the best extent so that they find high paying jobs and get settled in foreign countries, or at least foreign cities. Once these are accomplished, the children are unable to free themselves from the lock of these 9 to 9 jobs and the financial commitments due to which they cannot devote sufficient time to their parents. After a decade or so, parents start complaining as to how much they loved their children and provided them with all the facilities to have the best life, and now, the same children are settled in abroad leaving them in old age homes. Relatives and society start blaming the children for not taking care of parents and the children also are unable to explain the situation as it would sound only selfish to others' ears, while they are working hard for their children's future.

The older generation is unable to understand why their children are unable to take care of them and the younger generation is unable to understand or explain why they aren't able to do the same. It's getting into a cyclic loop of blames tossing from one side to the other. Let me share an example here. An apple tree grows from an apple seed into a plant, and then, spreads its roots sufficiently enough in order to strengthen its stem, grow its branches and become a tree. Then, it starts bearing fruits. After the fruits ripe, they are either taken by man or some animals. The tree, after few years, gets old, loses all its strength and dies away into the same soil. Never does a tree expect the apples it bore to come back and take care  of it during its old age. It bore fruits all its life only for the world around to use them. Some of these apples satisfied someone's hunger, while some of them were used to grow apple orchards somewhere far away. We got to learn from this tree. Your children are your offerings of spring seasons to the world, and hence they are called as offsprings. Spring and "springtime" refer to the season, and also to ideas of rebirth, rejuvenation, renewal, resurrection and regrowth. The tree takes care of the apple until it ripens. Likewise parents need to take care of the children until they are mature and can take care of themselves, and then let them free. The apple will either fall to the ground when it is completely ripe and will know when the right time has come or it will be taken by someone who needs it. Similarly, children will learn the right age to get independent and stop being dependents on their parents or will be taught by an outsider soon to get independent. This is life!

So, I would request the new age parents and upcoming parents, rather would-be parents of the present generation to erase the hopes of your children to take care of you during your old age. Save enough while you work right from day one for the last few years of your life which you might want to spend in solitude with your life partner. Let you be the boon in your children's lives rather than being a burden in your old age and their working times. At the same time, remember that your parents might haven't planned so much for their future. The responsibility of taking care of them still lies on your shoulders. You are in the right generation with the best technology around to plan how you will balance all the responsibilities of life simultaneously. Might be your next generation might not have the same patience or wisdom like that of yours. Hence be the best children for your parents and become the best parents for your children.

Appa amma peche kekaame...

I  have been a crazy movie buff from a long time. In fact, I have learnt some of the best lessons from movies. Movies have been an inspiration and a reason for rejuvenation for me on many occasions. Once again, I am here to share one of the most profound lessons of life that got reinforced while watching a movie recently. In this movie, the hero is a cop who gets to meet some big shots in business. During the conversation, he mentions some of the lessons taught by his parents which he follows honestly. In return, they question him about his obedience towards his parents. At that point, he replies, "appa amma peche kekaame, vere yaar pecha kekunu?"

 

The title of this blog post is in Tamil language, one of the regional languages in India which has lived for centuries together. The last statement which is the reply of the cop is also in Tamil. Translated version goes like this - "Without listening to parents' advice who else's advice should we listen to?" With the age gap between parents and children yielding a vast gap in the technology and the kind of environment the kids are surrounded with today, it has become highly difficult for parents to hold on to their kids along their school of thought. Parents' beliefs seem far alien to the current generation of youth. As a result of this widening gap between the closest ones and absence of right guidance, today's youth is getting entangled into lot of problems, both physical as well as mental. When one doesn't listen to his/her parents' advice then s/he will be bound to listen to some random stranger's advice who appears in the form of a friend or a lover. What guidance can a fellow being give who himself/herself is left unguided in the darkness of ignorance!

 

Our parents have been the reason for our existence on this planet. They are the reason for us to have our basic necessities fulfilled to the best extent possible. Man undermines the value of people who always stay with him and provide him daily service. Being pampered by our parents, we forget that we are indebted to the kind and amount of care and love that they shower on us and take them for granted. As a result, we get misled in life because of others' words. It's time to remind ourselves that our parents' are the ones who shall always think about our profits more than their losses and turn our attention back towards our parents and their thoughtful words.

I know I'm shattered but I also know that God is with me always

God lashes out every trouble at a person to only make him/her stronger. Here's a story of a young girl from garden city, Bangalore, who was underestimated by her close acquaintances for 20 years of her life but found her true purpose of life and started enjoying the spirit of unlimited inspiration in her life. Today, she has been responsible for making more than 35 people including children and adults literate within a span of just 5 months.
 
Kavya Madhavan is a student from Adarsh College pursuing her graduation in B.Com during the day and working part-time during the afternoon in the same institution. She is a highly sensitive person who gets emotional with just a sight of apathy of any person around her. After realizing through a number of incidents that crying alone doesn’t solve anyone’s problems she took up a dream to jump into action to give her bit to solve the problems of others. She recognized that lack of education was the root cause of all evil and hence decided to teach the under-privileged kids in her free time for one hour every day after she finishes her work and on the way to her home.
 
Here are her answers to our questions;
 
1. How did you start this campaign of educating poor children who aren’t allowed to go to school?

A. On 28^th of October, I was washing vessels during which I was thinking as to what I was doing in life. I used to get emotional at every scene of trouble of others but I was helpless as I could do nothing about it. I read a lot of books of Swami Vivekananda, who advocates that work shouldn’t be in words but in action. That’s when I decided that that day I would go out and teach any poor kid whom I found on the road. I asked the suggestion of Sujit Lalwani sir if my idea was correct and he gave me a green signal to go ahead with the project. That is when my life started to change.
 
2. How was your initial phase and experience when you started your initiative?

A. I got ready and left my home. I boarded a bus wherein I saw a beggar boy. I felt really sad for him and then approached him. He started asking me for food. I shared my lunch box with him and asked him to stay back at the same place where we both got down so that I could come back in the evening and teach him. Sadly, when I returned the boy wasn’t there. I felt that I had failed in my life but didn’t want to give up.
 
Next day, I once again went in search of poor kids who couldn’t afford their education on the roads of Chamrajpet but couldn’t find anyone. God was testing my patience while I was crying in desperation. Third day, God had to open his eyes to help me. Finally, I found around 5 kids near a construction area who were the children of the mason workers. I asked them if they would learn how to read and write if I taught them. The answered yes! And that’s how my journey began.
 
3. How many people have you taught till now and how has been your experience?

A. I have taught around 20+ kids to write their names in English, English alphabets both capital and small letters ­­and numbers from 1 to 100. Even adults were influenced to learn while I was teaching those young kids. So I have taught around 15 adults to write their names in English and basics of English language.
 
The experience has been totally satisfying. I now feel that I am living my life to the fullest. There are so many small faces that await my arrival in the evening just to learn. I feel so empowered while I am empowering someone else’s life through education. In spite of all the difficulties in my life, I feel every moment that the Almighty is right beside me and supporting me.
 
4. Were there any incidents during the process which made you sad?

A. Definitely, Yes! On a number of occasions I was disappointed and had lost hope. Thanks to IU (Inspiration Unlimited) who inspired me to carry forward my work. My parents were absolutely not supportive of my work as it included meeting strange people and teaching them. I had to make sure that initially I had to work without informing them. Couple of times, those students whom I had taught had gone back to their villages and didn’t return to Bengaluru. I was broken and felt that all my efforts had gone a waste but when I learnt from those who had returned that they had taught English to their friends and relatives in their village I was jumping with joy.
 
5. Which was the most striking incident during this whole process?

A. I used to teach a group of kids who lived near a construction site. There were 4 girls and a boy. Every day they used to come running to me as soon as I reached their place to teach them. On one fine day, it was strange for me to see that the boy who was always enthusiastic to learn was running away as soon as I reached their place. I was disappointed and felt bad thinking that he had lost interest in learning. I was into tears almost. However, I started teaching the rest of them. After sometime the boy returned and said that he also wanted to join the class. I was angry at him and scolded him. Immediately came the reply from him that he couldn’t come to learn as his pant was torn. I couldn’t control myself. I started crying. This was one of the most striking incidents of my journey.

Are we really republic?

The word 'republic' means a state in which supreme power is held by the people and their elected representatives, and which has an elected or nominated president. I know that all of us Indians had a wonderful time on 26th of Jan, celebrating our Republic day but on the same day I had an experience which actually questioned as to how much republic we really are. Probably not only w.r.t India, even some other countries might have the same issue.

 

I was walking on the pavement and I found this guy selling corn. He looked pretty young to me. Somewhat I felt that I needed to talk to him. I went near him and asked him as to how much of corn does he sell in one single day. He replied 6-7kg initially and then said that yesterday he was able to sell 10kg since it was a holiday because of republic day as well as a weekend. Then when I asked him as to how much he earns per day. His answer was a shocking "Rs.3000/month!" I went into bit of mathematics at that time. Even if he sells 100gm of corn for Rs.20, he is going to sell 1kg of corn at Rs.200 which effectively yields Rs.40000 for 200kg sold in one month assuming an average of 7kg sold per day. When I went back to him to ask as to how many hours a day he works, he replied "10 hours". A guy who works for 10 hours continuously each day of a month is earning just Rs.3000.

 

Even more disheartening fact was to know that he had just passed 8th std and didn't continue his education as he was disinterested in it and hence took up this job at Bangalore though his native place is Bihar. When the present generation which is suppose to be going to school is working on roads for such mean jobs, how can we expect this generation to be capable enough to elect a representative or President for our country as the word republic says. So my dear friends, it's very important for us to join hands to make sure that we pass on our nation to safe hands and that can happen only when such children are motivated and helped to continue their education. In this regard I would like to congratulate the campaign of "IUY2C" through which the college youth of our nation are taking initiative to go and talk to school children about the importance of education and helping them realise the value of it. Register yourself on www.iuy2c.org if you're interested to be a part of it.

Should children be put to work?

India's Census 2001 office defines child labour as participation of a child less than 17 years of age in any economically productive activity with or without compensation, wages or profit. I definitely support this and would condemn any such scenario where not just a child even if a grown up is employed but not paid. There is a big difference between unethical labour and an ethical work.

The meaning of labour is already known to you where in the child is deprived of its childhood and the work is harmful to its physical or mental development. However there are other types of simple work such as distributing newspapers, milk, vegetables to houses, assisting in accounting in general and provisional stores, painting pictures and making handicrafts for sale etc. There are a lot more of such examples which will not involve much of labour and are not at all hazardous in any format. These types of simple work just require few hours and dedicated interest and efforts for completions. The best part about them is that they pay back those who work as well. I honestly feel that children must be enrolled in such kinds of work for them to understand that 'every pie counts' as I said in my previous blog.

But what's the right age to put children for work? We have heard and seen that children in some of the foreign countries start earning their own living at the age of 11 or 12 and leave their homes to become independent. India is a different country for sure and hence the same model doesn't work out. Hence I recommend that 14 years must be an ideal age for children to start working part-time for at least 2 hours in a day. One main restriction should be that this work should be known and monitored by the child's parents. Though 18 is when Indians get the right to vote constitutionally, I feel that today's generation matures far ahead at the start of their teenage. By 14, when the child is in the high school, he/she would have understood the basics of adult work-life in this world and that must be the right time for them to experience it part-time as well.

This part-time work will definitely increase the seriousness towards life, cut off the unnecessary distractions, provide financial education and practical education of life, help them to develop time management skills and more positive impacts. Would really love to discuss more on this topic with all of you. Please write your opinions to is.mohanbn@gmail.com

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Every pie counts

Financial crunch is the best time to teach the value of each and every pie left in your pocket. Unfortunately today's generation has been cursed from understanding the value of each pie courtesy the pampering parents who want to provide the best life for their children. I remember this famous incident which repeated in two entirely different places. When a small kid of age around 14 was asked as to what would he do if he got hundred rupees from his father, he replied that he would party with his friends. When asked what would he do with the same hundred rupees if he earned it from his own efforts, he replied instantly that he would save it.

The value of money is known to the one who earns it by him/herself. Just think of those poor people who earn their food only by the daily wages they earn. If a day goes without work they have to go without food. They don't have the choice of choosing the tastiest food out of the umpteen choices available. They can only afford what can fill their stomach at the lowest cost. They clearly understand that every pie counts. Not just them even the people who jump into the field of business and entrepreneurship also learn the same lesson repeatedly. A job may give you the necessary income of constant flow irrespective of whether you like or dislike the work. Unfortunately 'every dream counts' is the lesson that majority of the job-goers fail to realise. However when you are in business you are the owner of your time and money and no one else is their to guide you or push you in this regard. You have to choose wisely on how you spend or invest each of the two. That is when you realise that every pie/second counts.

The lavish lifestyle shown on movies and the company of few rich brats have unfortunately spoilt the young minds who fail to recognise the value of each hard-earned pie of their parents. Some children take it for granted that parents are there only to spend on them and suffer due to this mindset when they grow up. IS THERE A SOLUTION FOR THIS?

Definitely YES!!!!!!!!!!! watch out for my next blog. Till then keep writing to me on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

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You're gifted, be thankful

God has been kind enough on many of us to bless us with all the amenities that we need to carry forward a happy life. He has blessed many of us with good health and a wonderful body with all parts working in proper conditions. There are few differently abled kids of God who also exist among us. The reason for their physical or mental changes might be attributed to genetics or other scientific reasons only by a logical brain. Probably I don't know the answer as to why God created different people with different weaknesses and different strengths though this question keeps passing from one head to the other among homo-sapiens. However, in the busy schedule that we are enrolled into, we seldom find time to ponder over such questions or answers. A man was sad that he had no slippers but became happy when he saw another person without limbs. Probably you might have listened to or read this one-liner many a times. Just be thankful for whatever you're gifted with. No doubt that you cannot find a fully perfect person anywhere on this earth. God has bestowed certain powers and abilities with certain people. Just make use of them which are vested in you in the right manner for the growth of the self and the world around.

It so happened that I had been along with a set of students for a meal donation programme to one of the trusts which took care of physically challenged kids. These kids in the ashram have been taught with the discipline of praying to God before having food. We had served the food that we had taken on to the plates for all the children. There were few kids who were blind, few orphans and few who had a defected growth. I was very happy seeing all these children praying to God before even touching the food right in front of them in the plates. When the guardian asked them to start the prayer, one of the blind girls started a bajan and all the other children followed her and sang the bajan. During this time I observed that one of the girls, who was perfectly fine physically without any defects was not singing the bajan but was making an irritated face towards the girl who had started the bajan. This girl was also started taking the food in front of her little by little and started to eat while all the blind children were singing. At that point, it struck my mind as to how those children who had blindness inflicted upon their lives paid the respects to God honestly while another girl in the same house who was completely gifted with a proper body by God failed to understand the gift of God. I felt pity at the girl's ignorance. No doubt that this is not just the case with this girl alone. It's the same case with many of us who are so busy utilizing all the gifts of God that we forget or ignore to thank Him back.

Friends! a sincere request from my side is to know that everyone of us should have the attitude of gratitude and when it comes to the Almighty, we must have the highest gratitude for the gift of life that He has bestowed upon us. Please share if you have witnessed any such experiences on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

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Learn from the small

Small things make big difference. This statement is indeed so true in almost every aspect of life that it can't be denied. Humans are always deceived by size of appearance, size of age and size of grandeur. Very few pay attention to the minute details and only those go on to make sizeable difference in this world. The big structures catch our eyes in the shadow of which we fail to recognize the tiny entities around us. But we mustn't forget that everyone of us evolved from a insignificant sized cell called zygote. Evolution has proved time and again that today's small creatures grow into the magnanimous features of tomorrow's planet. Hence we must care to understand and learn the small beings as well.

A very simple example is that of ants which are so minute in size but still have a lot to teach us. Their discipline while walking in a line, their effort to carry ten times their own body weight, their continuous motivation to work continuously are some of the things which if we imbibe in our daily lives can create wonders. A spider webs so well that its art of webbing can be a new design for a website. Talking about spider, I remember the bat as well. These two small creatures have given rise to the idea of super humans like spiderman and batman. May be this was the result of learning from small beings. You can also learn from a baby on how to smile at simple things. You can also learn the curiosity and inquisitiveness from small children. Only omission we will have to do as adults is that of our ego which blocks us from respecting anything that is younger or smaller than us. Our over confidence that makes us complacent from expanding our existing knowledge should be shred in order to explore the world. If a simple flapping of a butterfly's wing can change the direction of the Tornado winds as per butterfly effect then just imagine how learning from simple things can change our life altogether. Be focused and observe little in detail enough to learn and understand the smaller things as well.

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