The Positive Fear

I was taking a class for some students of a school about public speaking. One after the other, all students came on the stage to share the stories of leaders. They shared stories about Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhiji, Mother Theresa, Sachin Tendulkar and many others. These students were supposed to narrate these stories without the help of any print material. Each one of them tried to give the best speech possible. Some had practised the speech at home but still couldn't share it easily. They had a kind of fear which was obstructing the flow of speech through their vocal chords. Not just these small students, every speaker has this fear lurking inside before s/he goes on the stage.

Fear is one of the best motivating factors. The fear of failure has stopped many from taking action while it also has helped many to always win because they were afraid of failure. That apprehension inside us before we jump into doing something or expressing our talents or skills in front of people is called fear. There is an uncomfortable feeling due to the fear of not being accepted by the audience. Steven Pressfield says that every performer shall always undergo such fear before any performance. So, it's natural for one to fear. In fact, the presence of that small amount of fear before plunging into the open air of performance is a symbol of your seriousness towards your work. It's a positive fear that inhabits us for a temporary interval of time. The butterflies inside the stomach accelerate their speeds as we are just about to take on the stage. Let them not choke your voice down your throat. You must rise above it and deliver your performance. Let that positive fear be an indication that you are in the right direction than becoming a deviation in your path to success. Use the positive fear as a positive morale booster to boost your performance better. This fear is not because of any self-doubt about one's own preparation or talent, it's just a warning unto us to not let down those who have trusted in us and believed in our performance.

Not just in any stage performance alone, even in life too, such positive fears keep attacking us every now and then if we are trying to do something new every now and then. This positive fear differs very much from the real fear of performing. The positive fear compels you to take on the stage of life to exhibit all that you have got. On the other hand, the real ferocious fear shall stop you from even trying. Hence, use this positive fear which can be overcome very easily by taking a simple single step towards action. No matter which field you are in, taking initiatives will always be challenged by a positive fear. Accept the fear and take action, and the victory shall come and dance in your arms.

Instinct to conclude

All of us want to be experts in analysing everything and everyone. More than the want, most of us have already fallen into the pit of assumption that we can comprehend any person or any situation with the wisdom and experience that we possess. Unfortunately this is the reason why we jump into quick conclusions and far from perfect decisions that hamper our further progress. You might have observed that as experience and knowledge grow in a person, s/he becomes more descriptive about anything and keeps enough number of ways open before concluding about anything or anyone or any situation.

 

The instinct to conclude and finish quickly is also a sign of sense of urgency but this cannot be applied to those entities which are not under our control. Our work is under our control and hence sense of urgency can be applied but when it comes to making decisions when someone else is also involved in the project along with us, it's a blunder on our part if we jump into instinctive decisions that can have negative repercussions later. You might have observed that a baby touches the fire instantly the first time it notices fire which is an instinctive decision by the baby due to lack of experience with fear or lack of knowledge about fear while you will for surely find an aged adult taking sufficient time to jump into any type of decision even when the entire country is in crisis so that s/he gives the right decision after analysing and evaluating every aspect of effect of his/her decision. Wisdom grows only after sufficient knowledge is applied in practical scenarios increasing our experience.

 

I have always had this instinctive habit to finalise things quickly and immediately so that I can move over to the next task and I feel no shame in confessing that I have ended up on the losing side by taking such instinctive and incorrect decisions. I have always regretted after committing such mistakes since I couldn't revert the situations late. However I have learned my lessons, have you? Please let me know on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

www.facebook.com/ismohanbn

www.twitter.com/ismohanbn

Break your fear and love yourself

On february 4th,2013, I was glad to have been invited by VVN degree college for an inspirational talk to address close to 200 young ladies pursuing their graduation. The main convener for the event was Smt.Prasanna Udupikar who is a English lecturer in the same college. The talk was scheduled at 3pm but was delayed by thirty minutes as all the students had to come from their classes to the auditorium. All I knew when I entered the hall was that I was trusted with next 120 minutes to bring about a positive change in all these people.

 

The event kicked off with a wonderful introduction about me by madam. It was one of the best introductions that I had ever heard. Once I was given the microphone I made it a point to thank the almighty God, parents, teacher, friends and made the audience appreciate themselves with a round of applause. Then I discussed about what's happening in the current scenario as to how studies and marks are failing to motivate us to work hard. I also spoke about how visual and internet media are distracting us apart from providing us the necessary information. The fear of taking action and the problem of inferiority complex were addressed as well. I narrated the example of Lizzie Velasquez and the audience learnt a great lesson about how they should come out of inferiority complex and face the world.

 

Finally I taught them the mantra of "BREAK YOUR FEAR AND LOVE YOURSELF" by which one should be able to break any fear and try out the task at hand. Also not to forget that one should appreciate and love oneself instead of depending on anyone else for moral support. Hitesh.G who is pursuing his BBM also shared about his journey and a wonderful message that "IF YOU ARE NOT A GOOD LEADER THEN BE A GREAT FOLLOWER" following which Bharath.G.C sir introduced the audience to various platforms by which they can grow and the response of the students was just stupendous. These students, especially girls had stayed back for 2 hours after college hours and mam had to struggle to make them leave the auditorium. I hope this suffices to prove the worth of the talk. If you want to know more about such talks, message me on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

www.facebook.com/ismohanbn

www.twitter.com/ismohanbn

A kick is better than a pat

I remember reading this statement in one of the books of Mr.Shiv Khera. I have just edited it partially to fit into a decent title. I am myself a strong believer of appreciation. A pat on the back is a simple indication of appreciation. Unfortunately the same appreciation doesn't work all the time to increase the momentum of action. At such times it's the kick that does the magic. Fear is one of the strongest motivators for work to happen. Probably this explains the negative force required to initiate the positive action in life.

 

When everything's going fine the motivation to work may or may not reside but when one is pushed to the corner, he has no other option other than to fight back. Even a micro-organism like an amoeba has the inbuilt response to stimulus built into its CPU. Likewise people are no exception. Appreciation builds in confidence in a starter but it has a limit after which it just leads to complacency. However the kicks of life such as rejection, failure, defamation, financial crunch, exploitation, etc are the tough times that really trigger the fighting spirit in us. There are two outcomes of such scenarios. Few people get bogged down by such instances and give up on fighting back until the situation gets tougher to demand their fight. However people who have the better fighting back threshold get triggered immediately and start revolting against the challenge of life and this is where the real test of life begins.

 

Only when coal burns under the pressure of the earth for quite sometime does it convert into diamond. So pressure, force and thrust are the pumping factors that move us into action on a daily basis. Only difference is that such a pressure is external for normal people while it's self-generated and inflicted by the highly self-aware people. You can write your feedback on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

www.facebook.com/ismohanbn

www.twitter.com/ismohanbn

The Real Failure

"Failure is the stepping stone to success". "Failure doesn't mean the end, it just means that your success is postponed". You might have heard 'n' number of such other quotes on failure. Any failure that you face in the process of your work towards success is not a real failure at all. It was just an experience and a knowledge building incident which was bound to occur in the path to success. However let me reveal to you the REAL failure here. The real failure is when you fear and fail to start your work.

I can guarantee you that there are more number of people in this world who have been afraid to start their work and have failed than those who have actually started the work and failed. As I said above the real failure is when you haven't started the work also because no one can really estimate at what point you reach success. So your success might meet you at any point during the progress of your work and hence once the work has commenced you are already in close connection with success through your work. Your work is just a bridge between you and success. But when you have not started the work at all then all possibilities of having the bridge also cease to exist and hence it's a self-declared defeat. More than that, I can say that your dream or goal or vision has failed to lure you towards it because failure when expanded becomes 'failed to lure'.

Let me take you to a higher level of perception now. Folks! there is nothing called as success or failure. Both are just perceptions. It's the way you look at the situation you are in. However there is no other bigger mistake than not starting your work towards what you want to accomplish just because of fear. Face the fear and mail your feedback on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

www.facebook.com/ismohanbn

www.twitter.com/ismohanbn

Guidance for untreaded path

Christopher Columbus is one of the prominent examples who quite often took the untreaded path. He was an explorer who sailed across huge oceans to discover new landscapes. Probably no one had ever treaded the paths that he set upon. The reason he was the discoverer of many places on the world map was because he set out to take the path that's often forbidden by the ordinary with a vision to explore and know the world better. There would have been numerous people who would have advised Christopher before he set out for his journey. People would have definitely warned him about the high seas and storms, fierce winds, cunning pirates and lots more but the truth was that people had never explored the path that Christopher would be starting but still gave their blemished advices.

How is it possible for one to guide any person along lines which he/she himself has never travelled on before? Infact it is almost impossible to provide guidance along a path which one has never seen before. When one decides to take upon the challenge to walk the unknown path, immediately doubts, questions and fears start pouring on him/her from the surroundings. The worst part is that all these are thrown by those who actually don't have enough courage to take the same step and are under the shadow of 'Fear of Unknown'. People have got used to the natural flow of things in life. Something new or unknown or a change always frightens them. This has spread into the psychology of people so deep that any new act of expedition to explore the unknown is always considered as risky and dangerous. Still there are quite few examples of exceptional cases in this world wherein men were courageous enough to go beyond fears and take up the risk to conquer the darkness of unknown merely with their visions. Likes of Christopher Columbus were Steve Jobs, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dhirubhai Ambani, J.K.Rowling and many more who took the offbeat path and beat the odds to materialise their dreams into reality.

When you have strong belief backed up with the right guidance of the mentor who knows the way often untraced by others, you can fearlessly move ahead. The most important factor that will determine your success will be the self-belief and self-motivation that you can restore in yourself time and again. Life is not meant to be glued on to the cushions of safety all the time, it's meant to be expanded and explored to unleash the limits of life and the strengths within. Listen to the right guidance from those who know the path and not from those who are afraid to see the new path. Life is once, live it to the fullest.

I am all set to take up one such unconventional path that my entire family hasn't set foot in till now. If you have similar story please share it on is.mohanbn@gmail.com
www.facebook.com/Mohan.B.Nagesh
www.twitter.com/ISmohanbn