You gotta girlfriend; get serious boss

Pretty hot topic, I know! Right from the time I updated this title as my Whatsapp status people have been enquiring about my girlfriend. Getting a girlfriend in life is one of the hottest discussions amongst students, teenagers, grads and to-be married individuals. It makes the eyebrows of people raise and the cheeks of girls go pinkish red and no wonder it's a treat to watch these happening. Having a girlfriend is a sense of pride upliftment for most of the boys and young gentlemen. Anyways, I am definitely not against guys who have girlfriends or those who want to have girlfriends. I shall be the first person to encourage provided that guys are aware about certain important aspects. Everyone needs someone close enough to share things happening on a daily basis for moral and emotional support. Once things go beyond the scope of discussion with parents or teachers or close knit of friends, people enter into relationships.

I observe many of these boys who are lost in their phones. They keep smiling innocently conversing on messages, playing with smilies and blushing at regular intervals biting their lips. Some of them, who are engaged on long daily calls are totally unaware of the traffic on the road or the ticking clock. The wild imaginations and fascinations of girlfriends fill their heads and flow out to occupy the metaspace too. Her earrings to lipstick to nose ring to sandals are the highlights of these day dreams. Guessing the colour of their girlfriends' clothes and decorating her with different designs of clothes become the daily homework for most of the guys while they are alone with their imaginations. Just a glimpse of her smile and laughter kills every heartbeat of these dreaming Romeos. Wow! These are some of the wonderful sensations that every guy deserves to enjoy, but, to what extent is the question here. I was watching a couple of movies in which they showed that a criminal who gets a girlfriend gets into the above explained fantasies when he is right in front of his enemy. So many movies showcase that students in schools and colleges are lost in thoughts about their girlfriends in the classes and don't study properly, ultimately ending up failing in their subjects. A lot of working men lose focus from their work the moment they get girlfriends and perturb their own career growth. Such scenarios are very well stitched into the movie scenes along with beautiful songs and romantic dances. People end up feeling that those are the real ways of being in love, or rather, falling in love. Cinemas are nothing but exaggerated versions of pure reflections of things happening in our daily lives around us. Unfortunately , such presentations of love are leading people in wrong directions.

I am not saying that such fantasies happen only with boys and not with girls. I personally believe that it's a guy's responsibility to take complete accountability for his girlfriend's wellbeing and future. Hence this blogpost is more focused on what boys need to be and do once they have a girlfriend. A girlfriend comes into a guy's life with all her dreams and hopes on him, and with a guarantee that he shall be the soulmate who shall fulfill all of those. Now, it's the boy's turn to keep up to those expectations. His life is shared between two souls now. He must amend his mistakes soon and work extra to reach better results in shorter spans of time. If he has to do so, he can't lose his time in daydreaming about his girlfriend. He has to get serious and focus to do more with higher efficiency so that he can devote certain amount of time everyday for the person who loves him. If movies start showcasing this as to how a student studies extra hard and passes his exams with good grades, or how a professional improves his time-management skills and enhances his multi-tasking ability to do more work in lesser time resulting in quicker promotions, having a girlfriend shall no more sound as a distraction. She shall be the major reason of success in a guy's life the moment he develops seriousness having her in his life. Earlier, men used to get serious at the time of marriage but it's high time now, that people need to get serious at the onset of their relationships, both about their lives and relationships instead of being lost in filmy ways of getting lost in love feelings.

My best wishes are with all the present generation Romeo-Juliets and Laila-Majnoos. Especially, the Romeos and Majnoos should take my serious advice along with my wishes. Make your girlfriend feel that you are the right MAN in her life with the results that you bring about rather than with your words or descriptions about her beauty. (But don't forget to keep continuing admiring your girlfriend and appreciating all good things about her; girls love them and I certify that for you).

Self-defence: An essential education

The recent Delhi gang rape incident has been one of the biggest shocks for the nation. From the moment I read about the incident on facebook, my mind has been in complete unrest thinking about this incident. All media are reporting the consequences of the havoc caused by inhuman beings. People are protesting on streets, online and police are trying their best to capture the criminals. Amidst all these one thought that was prodding my mind was 'What can I do about this incident?' Yes! I can participate in any of the marches or campaigns and show my support against this inhuman act. What next? was the next question. Will just the punishment to the criminals be a permanent solution for such a problem?

That is when this big problem showed itself as the subset of one more bigger problem that has been infecting our 100 crore plus population. Rapes, murders, blackmails, human extortions, etc, a lot of such henious crimes are executed on common public. It might be almost non-existent or very meagre of such incidents with the trained police or military, the simple reason being these trained people know to defend themselves well. On the other hand the common public seems very weak in front of the minds which have decided to harm others. Not all criminals who commit crimes are well-versed in the fights. They are just one step ahead in thinking to harm the other person, that's it. The victim is among the general public who has no training to even combat an attack except very few who might have learned some martial arts. So the base problem lies at the incapability of the common man to defend himself under attack. This is the problem which I want to address.

Our education system is so well designed from nursery upto Ph.D to defend ourselves from illiteracy. Very few schools/colleges/ institutions have the concept of teaching self-defence to students as it is not at all a part of our curriculum. The physical education performed in schools hardly can reduce the weight of obese growing kids. Today's need of physical education is that of defending from any kind of attacks even from weapons for that matter. The world is not safe as it seemed earlier due to over population combined with lack of sufficient resources for all compounded with human greed and most important of all due to the lack of humanity. Just complaining against government or police or the public who stood silent while the hazardous crime was happening right in front of their eyes cannot solve the problem from the roots. Just like how the victim is afraid, likewise the public watching is in front of the muscle or weapon bound evils.

I want to propose that self-defence must be included as part of the education curriculum right from childhood by the education ministry. It can be any of the Indian martial arts or karate or kung-fu or taekwondo or kickboxing or anything that can make a person capable enough to defend oneself under any sort of physical attack. More than self-defence the real teaching of these martial arts inculcates the spirit of a warrior in every soul that undergoes the training. If people are trained right from childhood, not only will they defend themselves but shall even jump out to help others under trouble. I am tired of hearing statements which shout that every individual should be a soldier in himself/herself. How can it happen if the soldier is not trained at all?

Unfortunately in a country like India where more focus is given on bookish studies both by the parents and teachers its hard for students to even devote their time and energy for sports. So very less percentage of parents enroll their children for martial arts outside school. Then what about the rest? I believe that a man should be well-equipped with both mental and physical skills to protect himself from both types of problems and there is no other better place than school where a child spends more than a decade of the most precious early time of its life completely dedicated for learning. So self-defence must be taught right from 1st std to every kid be it boy or girl to help a strong man/woman step out of school by 18 who is strong enough to face the real cruel world. I am on my way to promote this mission of getting self-defence training inculcated in the education system under physical education section with a vision to see a nation full of soldiers. IF YOU ARE WITH ME, do show your support by messaging your ideas and opinions on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

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Ladies! Learnt a lot from you

This blog is a complete dedication to all those beautiful girls, ladies and women who have made this earth a better place to live in. Before starting off with this post my mind was in a dilemma whether to take up this topic or not. I was quite unsure about my preparation on writing this blog. Also there was a small inhibition that friends might tease reading the title itself but then I thought to myself that this topic has been running on the mind quite often. Either today or some other day I will have to put it into words and I chose TODAY itself because I remembered that as soon as I woke up today the first face I saw was that of my mother's. Everyone of us have been lucky enough to see unknown face of God in our mother's heart. Neither me nor anyone in this world can prove if any love is bigger than the love of a mother for her children. Well! God didn't stop at one. He knew that there was a requirement of lot more of these fabulous females to look after these menacing males. So He also blessed us with sisters, cousins, aunts, grandmothers and friends who are girls(I know I couldn't have used the short form here because you might just take me wrong).

I think while God designed men, He introduced lot of functionalities that they could perform various amount of vareity of functions but didn't give much importance to UI(User Interface). As a reason though lots get done inside the output shows to be very plain like the initially designed operating systems of the world. If you are not a techie I would make this simple saying that men are really low on expressing themselves and their emotions. Anyways they are still better than a stone. But later God realised the error in the early design and made sure that the best form of display with all the best functionalities was introduced while creating females like that of Samsung Galaxy S3 which has the tagline - "Designed for humans". I think females were created with a tagline - "Designed for mans"(I apologise for the spelling mistake). Trust me girls! We need you. Men by themselves are not capable enough to extract their full potential. We need you to be not just behind us but along with us because you are the powerhouse of inspiration. Men can create anything but women will be the ones who will fill life into the creation.

Like most men even I grew up from being a boy into a man. In the process I was forced to think that I was no more a small kid but a grown up who should always be seriously focused on work and work more on logic than feelings. Thanks to the Almighty that this misconception was broken soon. I must confess here that when I used to see girls around who were grown up still behaving as kids I used to get irritated. I would take it as rather childish than childlike. But as time progressed when I saw the same girls taking up serious decisions of life for themselves and for their families I had to admit that I was a fool to think they were kiddish. They had really grown far more than I had imagined. That was the time when I learnt that you don't have to be really serious all the time just because you are no more a teenager. No one on this earth has ever defined how a child should behave and how an adult should behave. Its all influenced by the society we live in. Its time to change guys. In childhood we were lot more happy because we enjoyed every small thing of life. We didn't need a Samsung Galaxy S3 alone to be happy. We could be happy with just a chocolate a day. Might be we guys forgot but thanks to these marvellous ladies who never let go off the child within them.

Ladies are special. They get happy when you buy them a rose a day rather than a rose garden after ten years. They value precious moments of life like the first time you met them, the first time you called them, the first time you went out for a movie, the first gift you presented them etc. We guys are sometimes really low on memory(manufacturing defect) that we forget these precious moments but remember the score of Sachin in Sharjah Cup. Ladies know the right time for fun and the right time to be serious. Your spouse or girlfriend would enjoy the bike ride with you more than a ride in Mercedes Benz driven by a driver just because you bought it to enhance your prestige in the soceity. They would love to get wished from you first than anyone else on their birthday. I used to think that whistling was a bad manner but offlate realised that girls enjoyed it when done in the right manner. They love to get impressed, impress them you boys.

Well before I conclude I would like to thank every woman on this earth for having been such a strong support for us. Might be if not for Smt. Sudha Murthy we would have never seen Infosys or Sri. NarayanMurthy. If not for our mothers we would have never been the sane guys that we are today. As the old adage says home is the first school and mother is the first teacher, indeed ladies are the strongest support to hold families together. Thank you once again ladies! I have really learnt a lot from you.

Its easier to find out the footsteps of fish in water than to understand whats going on in a girl's heart. Well! guys haven't grown to that level still. Keep teaching us ladies. Indeed I have learnt a lot from you.

Please pour in your heartfelt feelings on is.mohanbn@gmail.com

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