OCD is a psychological disorder where in a person affected by OCD tends to repeat the same things again and again. The full form of OCD is Obsessive Compulsion Disorder. This kind of a disorder happens when a person puts him/herself under too much of self-pressure to be perfect at what he/she is doing. Due to the mounting pressures of the expectations of this competitive world which is addding tension day by day, close to 5% of the population is found to be affected by this disorder. I am writing about this disorder in my blog because I also belonged to this 5% sometime back.
I can clearly recall that it was during my 9th std when I got severely affected because of OCD. I had bagged the 'Merit Student Award' during my 8th and 9th stds in my school. During my 9th std, I found myself reading my lessons and repeating them until I got them perfectly well though I had understood them. Until I was able to pronounce every word to the best perfection my mind wouldn't allow me to move forward. There was strange sense of fear that I might forget all that I have read so far if I didn't perfect it by repeating. This repeating used to consume loads of time and also would irritate me because I couldn't get out of a virtual jail that I formed around myself. I still remember the night when I was awake till 3am in the morning just to prepare for a simple test on Chemistry. Day by day, OCD was catching upon me. It started to spread into other activities of mine as well. I used to apply filmit to the lamps again and again just becaue I was afraid that if I didn't do it correctly something bad would happen with me. I can only recall and regret those times when I would shed tears being completely helpless at helping myself.
I shared this problem of mine with one of my friends whose brother referred to me a psychiatrist in one of the hospitals in bangalore. I took my father along and went to the psychiatrist. She asked me many questions as to why it happened and from how long. Then she took me to one more senior of hers who prescribed some medicine. I came back home without much solution and was with my book once again at night. At that time, my dad came to me and told me not to have any tension or pressure to be the topper and just study as much as I could. Then he stated a statement which almost killed the OCD in me in one shot. He just told me that those medicines prescribed by the doctor would weaken my nervous system. This statement just blew me off my worries and intimated that my health was more important than anything else. That is the time, I completely started neglecting the OCD in me and carried on with my studies to the best that I could do. Even in my 10th board exams I didn't score well except for 94%. Then came my undergraduation, the first day of which I decided that I would study as long as I understood the concept and wouldn't bother much about perfect replication of text book words. I worked hard for 2 years only to find myself becoming the topper of my college alongwith 4th rank-holder for my state, 29th rank-holder in engineering entrance exam and 33rd rank-holder in medical entrance exam. Please share if you have had any such similar experiences on firstname.lastname@example.org